My Words, My Thoughts, My Life: reflection

Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts

Back home

Just got back home. Heavy rain outside with thunder storm. I hv to wait for half an hour before i could get into my car.

Syukur...Now i have improved in my department.. Presenting cases was getting better and easy... Managing simple intestinal obstruction given me some confidence.

Just now my specialist was asking me didnt i finish my housemanship aredy? I laugh and said, no la boss this is just my first month.

I still missing my previous medical dept... There they gave lots of opportunities. Its true they said u will feel like real doctor in medical dept. U dont need to feel afraid to start ur own treatment. If u wrong u learn from it.

I met a guy that was a specialist graduated from UKM. He made me the posting leader. Once before i performed a pleural aspiration in front of him. Since that time i dont knw why he kept referring me as a surgeon. He put a trust on me that ill become a surgeon one day.

He is good. A good teacher not only teached but inspires.

Im on my way of taking MRCS... It is an expensive papers that is just a qualification. But i feel by having this qualification it will help me on doing surgery in future. Applying masters, hopefully a bit easier. With a year of full of house officer, there will b also a time a lot of medical officer.. I have to grab this opportunity to push myself among others and get into master programme.

Today i finished half of my day seeing BPH patient ( benign prostate hyperplasia ) and i sit with my new MO friend... She helped me a lot.. And im happy with it. Tomorrow is another clinic day also... Will be seeing patient in hospital sungai bakap and hospital bukit mertajam... And the next day will be my oncall day. Hopefullt everything goes well.

I also read an article about successful people dont wait to start anything. They just do. They took the risk and hit it like a boss. Hehe yes i have this feeling of worried, what if surgery is not fit for me.. Or me not fit with surgery... Whatever it is i will just go through it.

I need to also complete a research about colon ca... Bit tiring... Last time in HUKM if we helped a lecturer conducting studies.. We will b paid..m but now... We dont have that big grant to do the research... We need to do it just it is our passion to see wether our treatment is improving or not... But whatever it is i like the concept of it.. From data we interpret it and improving our management from it.

posted under medical, mumbling, reflection, surgery | 0 Comments

TT

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Make up your mind.

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The Patient History

Salam..

i just realized that we are currently in october 2010. time flew very fast. like lightning.

and light travel faster then sound. thats why we can see lightning first and then heard the sound seconds later.. duhh

but currently we have bluetooth 3.0 which make the files transfer much faster the before.

my macbook pro currently using 4gig for the RAM.. it can be upgraded until 8gig which is the maximum number of the slot can handle... then it will be like real fast.. like really fast.

and it will be another 2 months to get into year 2011.

5 years since i left my secondary school.

i still miss my school. until now.

im not one of the top student there. i scored my PMR but didn't get good result on SPM and got maqbul for SMRA (sijil menengah rendah agama - a test for all the Al-Azhar subjects). we learn a lot. 21 subjects including SPM subjects and Al-Azhar subjects which includes Feqh, Tafseer, Hadith and all other arabic subjects. each of the class will be about half an hour each. every year the successful student will come from the student that staying at home. i don't know why. maybe their involvement with non academic things were less then us who is staying in the hostels. owh my school is semi-boarding school where some of us can stay outside. and im staying in the hostels mixing with a lot of other people which come mostly outside of the Kedah area.

and that is the academic side of the story. ada je lagi.. but..

the non academic side of story is much more interesting.

nanti lah rajin sket aku cite.. sebak dowh (over sgt~ haha)

chow

posted under memories, merepek, reflection | 3 Comments

A blue while

It has been a while since the last post (the one i wrote it myself). Currently im in ENT posting. ENT stands for ear nose and throat. it is an intersting posting i must say and a lot to cover it up on, especially on anatomy that has been left and learnt for quite sometime with PBL approach.

this semester ill be undergoing 4 postings, the first three is called Triad = ENT, Ophtal (about the eyes) and anestesiology (google it urself hehe) which need to be completed for 8 weeks.. and after that psychiatrc posting for another 8 weeks..

then my fourth year will be completed, but i need to reseat my paeds posting after the 2nd semester exam which means ill lost half of my holidays. but its okay maybe its meant to be like this.. to fall and walk up again and again. may be this is the way He wanted me to learn the life. i accept whatever it is. Alhamdulillah.

its already 3am.. and i cudnt doze of yet.. reflecting again and again and again. from the small circle of thoughts untill a bigger one of it.

in life as muslim, we have to built the internal strength of our own life alone. people may assist u on the process of the building it but u urself have to built it ur self. Iman. simple 4 alphabetical sentence. believe me it is not easy to built and have a great iman in yourself.

it doesnt come with only dua` but also your daily activities. in this medical field i realise that everyday, every single day in my course it is to prepare us a doctor that is safe and can be practise safely outside (after studying). starts from rounds, critical thinking on differential diagnosis, how on managing patient internally and externally, talking and clerking the patient, a human being, being professional, look smart, great on managing time and etc.. they wanted the daily activity of us during the medical student to be an activity of our future life. so that we didnt fumble in the future and can manage our patient perfectly. and be our routine as this profession is a lifetime commitment.

same with Iman, we have to culture it deep inside of our heart every single day of our life starts from now on and forever to prepare us the real world, and the afterlife. so having compulsary daily activities to strengthen it is a must. Reading the quran, specific surah on morning or evening, or finishing few pages daily, Mathurat, or any dua`, pray dhuha tahajjud or whatever sunat prayer every single day of our life is crucial to built this so called 'inner beauty'. it is not enough by only having daily 5 times of solah a day and yassin on friday night. it is not enough. i believe.

and i must say im indeed in a deep grave on my performance lately. im not the one i used to be last time. and so the inner part is gradually deteriorating its performance or in chronic condition. (haha) or what ever it is, i must say im not really satisfy with my current performance. i have to change and i need prayer to change. Ya Rabb maafkan aku. Alhamdulillah im still grateful in whatever condition He gave, and im not forgetting Him in any of my difficult or joyous time. hopefully this will last forever. as if i have nobody to be loved by, i know He will loves me, always.

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Warkah seorang guru

Salam Syawal,

Khusus buat:

· Anak-anak
yang bergelar pelajar perubatan ( di mana jua anda berada)

· Ibu dan ayah
kepada anak-anak di atas

Sedikit
pesanan ini dinukilkan oleh seorang yang pernah menjadi pelajar perubatan (
1986-1991), sudah bergelar doktor selama lebih 19 tahun, menjadi pakar O&G
dan pendidik kepada ribuan pelajar perubatan selama 13 tahun. Namun belum
berpeluang menjadi ibu kepada seorang pelajar perubatan lagi setakat ini.

Anak-anakku,

Kalian
sebenarnya bertuah dipilih Allah SWT mempelajari satu bidang yang amat besar
faedah dan manfaatnya buat manusia dan dunia. Apapun yang mendorong kalian
membuat keputusan menjadikan bidang ini pilihan, kalian sudah sampai di sini!
Betapa ramai rakan kalian yang mengidamkan kerusi yang kalian duduki sekarang
ini.

Harapnya,
dorongan itu bukanlah semata-mata mahu mencuba nasib, memenuhi hajat dan hasrat
kedua ibu bapa dan keluarga yang mahu seorang bergelar `Doktor’ dalam salasilah
keturunan, ataupun ingin sentiasa bersama dgn rakan karib lain yang kebetulan
juga mendapat tawaran yang sama!

Melihat
betapa berlumba-lumba kalian merebut tempat di sekolah perubatan, rasanya
seperti ada kempen ` Satu Keluarga Seorang Doktor’ lagaknya.

Jangan
kalian terkejut nanti – dengan realiti pengorbanan yang mesti kalian lalui.

Perubatan
adalah satu lapangan yang perlukan komitmen pembelajaran sepanjang hayat.
Kalian sendiri yang perlu mencetus keghairahan mahu menuntut ilmu, bukannya
hanya berharap dan bergantung sepenuhnya kepada tenaga pendidik yang menunjuk
ajar. Kalian akan mulai mendengar perkataan ` self-directed learning- SDL’,
student-centred education, life-long learning, community-based learning,
inter-professional learning dll.

Pengajar
kalian bukan hanya professor dan pensyarah perubatan, malahan yang bergelar
pesakit itulah yang paling banyak mengajar dan memberi tunjuk ajar. Para
jururawat adalah mentor yang paling berpengalaman dan perlu diberi
penghormatan.

Yang
paling utama, akhlak
kalian –
menjadi pembeza utama antara pengamal perubatan yang mulia dan doktor
yang angkuh. Bertuahlah bagi kalian yang sememangnya sudah berbekal
dgn didikan sempurna, penuh budi bahasa, tata tertib dan sopan santun yang
tinggi semenjak dari rumah lagi. Malanglah kalian yang serba kekurangan dalam
aspek ini, sekalipun kalian begitu cerdas mengumpul deretan `A+’ dalam
transkrip keputusan peperiksaan saban semester.

Untuk
para ibu dan ayah kepada anak-anak yang bergelar pelajar perubatan,

Mohon
dipastikan kalian sudah menyediakan anak-anak kalian dengan baik dan sempurna –
terutamanya dalam aspek rohaniah dan akhlaqiah mereka. Mereka akan menjadi
doktor perubatan – bukan calang-calang profesyen! Pastikan mereka menjadi
pengamal perubatan yang tawadhuk dan sentiasa berhubung erat dengn Rabb..
Selitkan doa yang tidak pernah kunjung padam setiap masa dan ketika, moga Allah
SWT memberi bimbinganNya buat anak-anak ini.

Sekiranya
kalianlah menjadi SEBAB utama anak-anak berada di sekolah perubatan hari ini,
sedangkan itu bukan keinginan dan minat mereka sendiri, bersedialah untuk
meminta maaf kepada mereka – terutamanya jika mereka akan berhadapan dgn
kesukaran dan keperitan memenuhi hajat dan cita-cita kalian itu. Sokong dan
dokonglah mereka sehingga ke akhir nanti – kerana cubaan dan dugaan yang perlu
anak-anak ini hadapi bukanlah setakat semasa dalam latihan sahaja, malahan yang
lebih mencabar adalah ketika terpikul di bahu mereka tanggungjawab dan amanah
yang berat apabila bergelar doktor nanti!

InsyaAllah,
kalian akan sentiasa dilindungi Allah SWT dari segala bencana selagi mana
penggantungan hanyalah kepada Allah semata-mata.

Dr.Har

posted under inspiration, motivation, reflection | 0 Comments

Edifier

Salam..

Apa khabar semua? Alhamdulillah sudah di minggu keempat posting Paediatric skarang ni.. posting kali ni sebenar nya agak sibuk.. banyak yang perlu di baca dan revise kembali sebab paeds ni macam medicine juga lah.. cuma nya budak2 punya sakit tak same dengan orang tua kan.. so have to learn new approach to the some of the diseases..

So hows my peads posting?? Alhamdulillah aku sangat suka posting ni.. masih lagi semangat ke ward dan berjumpa kanak2 dan adik2 yang kurang bernasib baik.. buku log aku masih belum berisi, minggu ke 6 dah kena hantar case write up.. masa terlalu pantas berlalu.. agak pelik bila melihat status rakan2 yang mana ingin kan hujung minggu datang dengan cepat walhal aku rasa tidak cukup masa untuk melaksanakan semua tugasan.. haish ke aku yang malas sangat?? haha

So kanak2? apa yang penting sangat mereka ini? sbelum mula merepek nak ingatkan diri sendiri yang sesungguhnya Islam itu satu cara hidup bukan sekadar nama dalam i.c .. seriusly aku seorang yang amat menyukai kanak2.. dari mengasuh, mendidik, bermain, mengurus kehidupan mereka.. amat amat amat suka... setiap kanak2 itu aku dapat lihat cahaya di wajah mereka.. cahaya yang aku rasa jika dijaga dengan baik akan terus bercahaya dengan lebih terang dan terus menyinari kehidupan ini. walaupun kadang2 budak tu takde la suka kat aku, itu normal, namun jika dicuba dan terus mencuba.. boleh la dapat main dengan dorang hehe..

Bila kita menjalani kehidupan seharian, Rasul lah ikutan kita, dari segi akhlak dan tingkah laku. bukan trend atau populariti bagi sesuatu masa. dan sunnah itu tidak terhad pada amalan zikir serta solat namun sehingga ke dalam tandas sudah Rasul ajar cara untuk buang air besar ke kecik ke.. complete kan Islam? cuma kadang2 kita kurang sedar dan peka.. Begitu juga kasih sayang Rasul dengan kanak2..

Hadis rasul dengan kanak2

No. 5610 Narrated Abu Huraira: Rasullullah kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Rasullullah cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." Sahih Bukhari.

Kanak2 ini adalah generasi yang akan menganti kan kita.. yang merupakan tunas baru dalam agama kita.. aku masih ingat, tika Tok dan Tok Wan mengajar aku solat, membaca quran, cerita sirah nabawi, belum pon bertadika ketika itu, dan bila masuk sekolah, Alhamdulillah segala akhlak serta ajaran Tok amat berguna.. dari kecil di ajar takutkan siksaan neraka.. bila besar sudah tahu kita mana baik mana tidak nya... Rindu dengan tok..

And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wive

s and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (25 :74)

Bila di ward paediatric.. seriously aku lihat setiap hari adalah PERTARUNGAN. pertarungan dengan takdir yang Allah taala kurniakan.. dan ada yang lihat itu adalah satu dugaan, ada juga yang lihat satu bala.. itu terserah pada yang menerima namun setiap kita punyai kepercayaan yang berbeza. Pertarungan macam mana?

bila mana ibu dan ayah tidak pulang dan menjaga anak mereka yang mempunyai cerebral palsy (google lah nak tau penyakit ape)...

anak mereka yang tidak cukup bulan,

anak mereka yang mempunyai masalah mental yang mana kakak nya baru meninggal di usia 12 tahun..

anak yang mempunyai masalah pendengaran..

anak2 yang perlu menjalani pembedahan billiary atresia..

menjaga anak2 yang tidak henti nangis kerana sakit selepas pembedahan masih lagi belum baik...

bila satu keluarga yang tidak begitu berpendapatan terbang dari Serawak ke Hospital Kuala Lumpur membawa anak mereka yang mempunyai masalah respiratory... malah banyak lagi..

namun aku dapat lihat kesabaran mereka amat tinggi.. yang kadang2 aku rasa jika aku ditempat mereka pasti aku juga terduduk. Ya Allah sungguh hebat dugaan mereka.. dugaan aku ini apa ada?? Maafkan aku ya Allah..

Dan ada sebahagian dari kawan2 aku yang cakap ‘rasa bagaikan tidak mahu anak’ kerana melihat semua ini. Agak kecewa dengan ayat itu. Sesungguhnya zuriat itu rezeki yang tak ternilai.. tidak kira lah mereka itu normal atau tidak.. ya kita susah di dunia.. namun yakin lah semua dari Allah dan kesabaran dalam menghadapi hidup dengan anak begini akan mendapat balasan yang tak tercapai oleh akal untuk memikirnya di akhirat kelak... Dan kita perlulah menjaga islam kita dan terus berdoa agar di kurniakan anak2 menjadi penyejuk mata dan bertakwa.

Cukup.

Graduation day ib dan iyas next week.. seriuosly aku taktau nak bagi apa hadiah. bukan banyak sgt duet.. tapi nak bagi haha.. takpelah tengok lah macam mana.. but i need to attend several of my friends graduation too.. aiman ngan zaid pon minggu depan juga.. harith pon dah grad.. dari notthingham uni...wah.. cepat betul masa berlalu.. ya Allah berikanlah kejayaan kepada mereka dan berikanlah kekuatan untuk aku untuk berjaya seperti mereka...minggu ni sume da sibuk nak tempah graduation robe dekat bangi.. huhu dan mintak2 minggu depan tak sibuk sangat.. it will be one of a great moment in their life.. and im just happy for them, eventhough i just can see them from far and my time is not there yet..will be just happy ..

Fuh emo lak.. haha

So ramadhan is just around the corner.. need a lot of preparation.. speaker dah ada ahah and need to survey which mosque nak pergi solat terawikh.. :)

thats all for now

selamat beramal semua

(peringatan pada diri sendiri juga - kan ni blog aku apsal nak kena ada line ni? haha)

posted under experience, islam, memories, merepek, mumbling, reflection | 6 Comments

Clash of the two

I just confuse. a bit. the meaning of being yourself. i asked once to one of my ustaz during classes 5 years ago. ustaz, what if i didnt do whatever i did (good deeds) at school when i get home? am i being a hypocryte? did god allowed me to be like that? i just didnt feel the islamic environment if i went home. so i am blaming the environment instead of me myself being good. the ustaz answered that it is okay behaving like that because i am still in the process of training, learning on being a good person. yet he said that environment is important to create a consistent practice of islam. biah solehah.
sometimes when you want to be good the first step is trying to be good. try is the keyword there. and the interpretation of trying in order to get better is in other words is to pretend being a better person. does pretending being someone is not good? why cant we just be our self?

pretending is a thing that not all of us like. sort of hypocrite. i think pretending should be included into stages on becoming good. why? im not sure. before being a good person they will go certain stages (based on my observation). and these stages are differ from the background of education they get.
i asked a friend of mine from uia. they learn about dakwah and even take a paper on it. im sure they learn the methods of dakwah. before applying those methods dont you think that it is important to know the state of a person that were going to call for dakwah?

not all are like us. some of us have a very good basics of islam. some of us just learn during primary or secondary school. some of us just listen what is taught by our parents. some of us know islam from friends, usrah, books, google etc. and this is different from their educational background. people that learn from their parents (grandparents) so called informal education plus a formal education (learning in religious institution) since childhood about islam may have different understanding of islam. so difference level of background may also contribute on the understanding of the religion. this differences may need different kind of approach definitely.

but i also observed that not all that have proper islamic education turns out to be a good person. mereka lebih arif tentang agama namun kadang2 tidak bersuara. lebih teruk pon ada.

tetapi ada juga yang tidak mendapat pendedahan agama seawal mungkin ini lebih baik orang nya. yang belajar dan mula bergetar tubuh nya dengan islam di sekolah menengah, universiti. mereka ini aku lihat lebih agresif. tidak begitu arif namun praktis nya cukup baik.

and because of that i believe on hidayah from Him.
Bila menyebut perkataan lebih baik (a good person) what actually the meaning of being good? i shall say that there are two views on being good. first, being good in the perspective of us as human and another one is on the perspective of God. and of cos lah perspective tuhan tu yang that we have to look for. and that is also depends on the person educational background too.

being good is also cultured inside of us since we were young. basically those who have a great akhlak may be a good person. and here where the 'inner parts' come.

whatever it is and what level of education we are in right now is not the matter anymore as we can learn it slowly and starts to practicing the way that promoted by our Rasul and the Quran. For those who just started, just be consistent and keep on learning. and those who are called dai'e have to understand the field of dakwah before proceed and called the good deeds by understanding our targets background of education and practices.

bebelan merepek. nite.. NICU will ended soon and will be going to HKL starting next week.

i miss my school days..

p/s: ib dah jadi doctor. doctor gigi yg budak2 takut nak pegi tu haha. congratulations and good luck bro in life. n i have to work hard.. like really hard. damn korang sume da grad.

posted under merepek, mumbling, reflection | 5 Comments

Teddy sweater merah

Salam..

Huh it has been long since the last post i made.. i like to tell stories.. some of them about myself, some of them about other people, some of them about what i understand..

while waiting for Jumaat prayer, i just want to update to you guys bout what happened recently.. Alhamdulillah today is my last day posting in orthopeadics.. log book completed.. case write up also completed although last minute work out.. as usual (sigh)

orthopaedics is a very enjoyable posting.. i really love orthopaedics until i felt that i wanted to be an orthopaedic surgeon instead of cardiothoracic surgeon.. so after these 8 weeks of posting i shall say orthopaedic is a busy posting but you wouldn't get stress on the busy schedule..

above from that, my last program that i handled is also in this last week of orthopaedic posting.. i already found my weakness.. i can't handled two separate big problem at one time.. during 2 weeks before my program.. i already had shut down all my academic studies.. gile kan? like having holidays for 2 weeks.. i just attend my study group and get info through seminars and orthopaedic clinics.. n haven't open my book at all.. i even ignore what my lecturers said if i didnt attend rounds as i believe they will recognize me as i were there during their clinics.. case write up should be submitted on friday of my event week.. memang tak lah kan.. haha

mati kalau mak aku baca ni..

after a few reflections.. ive come into solutions of the problem. ive got to have a planner! as simple as that... what to do first and what to do second.. but my ego said.. no i dont need to plan.. just happy go lucky with my stuff and everything will be okay hahaha and i dont see this as my problem but more of obstacles.. i have to make my self good on handling few other things at once with success.. because you just don't handle only one problem at once in real life..

okay about my program.. i gave it B - for the achievement.. money was okay,

sponsor was ok, participants was okay, program was bit problem in the beginning but can cope up with it, organising committee was so so.. so overall B- haha and i always pray that my sacrifice on doing this event, hopefully will increase awareness of the people on prostate disease..

(from left with me : org biase, prof zul : uro surgeon , dato' tnc Mohd Razak : orthopeadic surgeon, Dato' lokman saim : pakar ENT)

Though i know my family will never support what i did or any event that i involve in.. i just believe one day with all of these things that i have done, will be beneficial for me..

ok lah thats it for now.. nanti bersambung bebelan..

take care everyone

posted under campus, experience, reflection | 2 Comments

Orange and Red and Black

Alhamdulillah

Setelah beberapa drama dapat di tonton.. ak da masuk 4th year.. Paper reseat aritu agak kaw juga soalan dia dan ramai dari batch ak sangkut... syukur sangat2 ak lepas dan dapat masuk 4th year..

Sory ak tutup kejap blog.. proses renovation.. cantek da sket kali ni.. kat atas2 ni ada link2 ak tak edit lagi.. baca2 lah eh eheh

so cerita hari ambek result agak dramatik.. seperti yang da ak tulis sebelum ni, paper ak hari tu ari Isnin dan Selasa last...

Isnin tu paper pagi 2 bahagian dan petang satu bahagian untuk O&G.. paper berat buat semua dalam satu hari.. huh gile penat hari tu.. tapi tak boleh rileks lagi sebab Selasa esok nye ada satu lagi paper Medicine (short case)..

Dan satu kejadian tak diingini terjadi time paper o&g.. time pagi.. kan ada 2 bahagian, satu bahagian tu paper objektif.. paper objektif tu pulak ada 2

bahagian.A dan B. tiap2 bahagian ada 15 soalan.so ada 30 soalan semuanya..

so ak dpt peringatan awal yg kata paper ak tu semua 30 minit.. dan bila semua orang jawab paper tu.. ak pon selak satu persatu.. dengan serius nye ak bace.. setiap bahagian die tulis kat kertas tu diperuntukan masa 30 minit...so bahagian A dan B semuanya 1 jam.. ini IKUT KERTAS TU TULIS..

sekali lepas 30 minit loceng berbunyi! ak macam ' Aphal loceng bunyi awal sangat?' sebelum tu pulak takde la lecturer ckp mcm alert ' lagi 10 minit untuk masa tamat' tibe2 je masa abes... damn!!!!!

then ak teringat balik yg tadi die cakap masa jawab hanya 3o minit!!! ak ada half lagi soalan tak jawab!!! gile babeng... syukur sebab bahagian A ak habis dalam 20 minit.. lagi sepuluh minit ak jawab dalam 5/6 soalan kat bahagian B. so ak ada 10 soalan lagi tak sempat baca dan jawab!!!!

gile kan?? ak time tu da gelabah biawak dah..ak maen tanda je dulu 10 soalan tu.. dan time org bangun utk submit paper.. baru ak bace soalan dan padam and tick jwpn yg betol..dengan kelajuan F1.. tapi tak sempat.. dalam 3,4 soalan tetibe ada lecturer bunyi.. 'Hey! what are u doing?? are u changing the answers??'' owh amat lah siot time tu.. ak stop dan ak pangel die.. then ak explain...

'Dr.. actually i was wrong about the time given just now, u said it was 30 minutes quests.. but in here it stated 1hour paper?? and no correction made??' then ak explain semua.. tapi dia macam tak puas ati lagi.. dia pangel sorang lagi dr. dan Alhamdulillah dr. tu except explanation ak.. gile ape ak bw court ley menang kot.. kat kertas tulis 1 jam.. takde pembetulan lak tu.. mmg lahanat juga laa.. tp ak sedar yg ak pon takley wat pape.. terus je la submit paper dengan soalan dalam 8soalan yg tak tau soalan dia apa dan jawapan dia ak belasah.. huh~

ak geram sebab ak tak dpt jawab soalan tu.. study da kaw dah sekali tak ley jwb.. memang amat menyirap..

dan seterusnya ak jawab esei question selepas 15minit rehat.. budak2 da ushar ak pelik dah.. apehal shamil tu kuar lambat kena marah ngan doctor lak..

haha ak maintain je sbb next paper ada lagi n i have to score this fckin esei paper supaya dapat cover paper tadi.. dan Alhamdulillah esey okay for me.. tapi ak masih tak confident ak ley pass.. sbb in medic every marks count.. rendah 1.0 pon ley fail.. takdak kasi can punya..

then petang tu ak jwb paper OSCE o&g and okay juga.. and lastly esok nye Selase paper medicine..

lepas je paper medicine ak terus tepiki paper o&g ak tu.. seriusly ak amat amat amat risau dan dah siap prepare utk ape yg akan terjadi.. bilik pon ak tak pindah lagi in case la ape2 jadi.. mmg siot lah.. then terus ak balik penang..

kat umah ak story lah kat parent.. mcm biasa ayah dah buat muka mcm nak kena slamdunk haha ibu cam ckp okay nye ley dia rasa ak boleh lepas.. ak pulak!??? hummm senyap je.. ak layan cuti yg tak seberapa sebab Jumaat tu da kuar result.. ak tak contact sesape.. sori Naim tak contact hang.. seriusly dlm keadaan merbahaya haha..

then Jumaat tu satu family nak balik kl pulak.. so sampai kl dlm sebelum Jumaat, penat dorang suruh ak drive dari penang ke kl.. huh sampai je ak mcm nak balik cheras.. tapi solat jumaat n lunch ngan parent dulu kat restoran Minang ni.. ak makan da sikit da ha gile risau result.. then ak balik cheras..

on the way g cheras then ak dpt call dari Temoh ' Congratz ko lepas' ak macam... errrrr... Alhamdulillah!!! hahah time tu jem pulak jalan.. ak da lompat2 dlm kelisa and terus call parent ak.. then hafiz msg.. ak lepas.. syukur sangat2.. happy gile kot.. haha then ak tanye yang lain mcm mana.. hafiz reply lambat.. then ak call.. and i received bad news for few of my friends.. dalam zikir Alhamdulillah ak.. ak senyap kejap.. n tetibe sedih.. sebab 2,3 rakan rapat ak time reseat aritu tak lepas.. sedih kot.. ak pon taktau nak ckp ape ngan mereka.. ak mmg harap mereka tabah..segala percaturan Allah tu ada habuan dia.. yakin! mmg susah nak hadapi.. ntah lah.. tapi ak serius tak syok sgt la pastu.. happy campur sedih. 22 orang dari batch ak kena repeat tahun.. mmg ak semangat batch sket so mmg lah lagi sedih..

tapi sebenarnya time ak down dulu tu ak da pikir da.. if ak reseat.. makna nya ak akan belajar lagi medicine o&g surgery yg merupakan posting penting masa final year nanti.. yg aku amek balik 3 minggu ni pon da bnyk bagi ak pengajaran.. ini kan buat balik setahun lagi.. ak rasa amat bermanfaat.. mmg la taknak kan.. tapi for future ak rase so much worth it.. harap sahabat2 ak faham..

tu lah detik2 ak dapat result hari tu.. amat bersyukur.. mmg setiap hari before dpt result ak mmg ada aje tag line yang macam suruh ak bersabar... mcm aritu ak balik je dari paper o&g.. time ak masih lagi teringat2 tentang soalan2 ak tak jawab tu.. ak terdengar ayat quran tentang tawakal.. 'dan serahkanlah segalanya pada Allah, sesungguhnya Allah lah tempat kamu bertawakal'..bacaan Misyari dari ipod ak.. tetibe je kot! ak cam.. ok takpe study medicne..

bila bukak facebook pulak ada lagi tag line pasal tawakal..

dan bila ak bukak blog abg shah.. pon tulis pasal tawakal.. katakan dia quote dari abg zaim ' tawakal pada Allah bukan tawakal pada usaha' pergh terasa kot.. terus ak cool.. dan rilek je.. tak tertekan sgt... tapi ak manusia biasa yang mmg lemah.. kadang2 tu down juga tapi ingat balik...buat ak lebih bersabar..

Alhamdulillah.. sekarang da 3 minggu dalam 4th year.. ak start ngan posting Orthopedic.. pasal tulang2 patah2 tecabut tulang semua belajar dalam posting ni.. jadi group leader lagi.. ak sorang je lak tu laki.. malu pon ada gak tapi kena perform la kan utk menjaga nama baik lelaki ni hahaha

dan ak da masuk bilik baru.. bilik ni tingkat 2 aje.. syukur bilik ni sejuk je kalau time panas terik tengahari pon.. seronok jugak lah syukur Alhamdulillah..

terima kasih rakan2 yang mendoakan.. akan terus ku berusaha insyAllah hingga ke akhir garisan penamat.. doa hampa semua mmg pendokong usaha ak untuk berjaya.. terima kasih..

Nanti ak cerita posting2 time 4th year ni pulak kay.. sibuk jugak lah sebenarnya dan semester ni pon ak tak amek jawatan dah.. ak amek pengarah PAC tu aje.. yang lain tak nak amek tau dah.. ak nak enjoy 4th year ak dan hidup sebagai medical student dan kuatkan segalanya untuk final year nanti.. pergh gile semangat haha 2 3 minggu je ni.. :) hehe

owh program ni 18 dan 20 June.. doakan segala berjalan lancar.. to all always b happy as it will attract good things ' law of attraction'

Take care

Salam

owh n syukur juga ayah bagi laptop baru Alhamdulillah..

dan ak rase nak kaetkan gak ngan law of attraction.. sebab ape tau? sebab i never came across to have a macbook now, cause i think i will have it when i grad nanti or somewhere in future.. but i always wanted to have it, like since 2nd year, i took a brochure about macbook and i paste it on my study desk.. everyday i see it and wish (doa) i can have it.. Alhamdulillah.. Allah makbul kan.. syukur..

posted under inspiration, memories, motivation, mumbling, reflection | 3 Comments

Apa ni?

aku malas lah nak komen lebih2..
semua da baligh keluar darah tiap2 bulan, mimpi basah2..
kalau nak buat sesuatu pikir dulu boleh?
aku panas sket sebab ni da kait dengan ajaran agama aku..
punya la dok promote agar tutup aurat bagi lengkap.. mai2 hampa buat macam ni..

bukan tak boleh bersuara.. mahasiswa patut bersuara..
bukan tak boleh join demonstrasi ke ape.. (aku join xpe pulak haha tapi bukan dalam uni la kan) kata berkumpul secara aman..

TAPI yang perempuan kena la igt batasan.. satgi kata Islam tindas perempuan pulak.. jaga adab di mana pon.. hampa tu senang kena fitnah..bukan sahaja fitnah pada diri saja.. ni dah tahap fitnah agama sendiri..

bila dah jadi camni aku tak tau hukum perempuan menghadiri tempat2 macam ni dah.. Hidir Al Hafiz apa hukum dia? satgi kata aku buat hukum sendiri lak.. doctor boleh bawa keluar ubat saja..

Jaga akhlak.. nasihat pada diri aku juga..

kata bawa suara mahasiswa, suara keramat, tapi mcm ni punya akhlak takdak sapa mau dengar suara hampa la..

aku nak membebel panjang juga, satu pasal streets riot ni, satu pasal didikan agama dari bawah.. tapi mmg panjang sket.. malas lagi skang ni..

ingat bukan agama kita yang menjaga kita tapi biar kita yang menjaga agama kita...

salam..

posted under islam, isu semasa, pictures, reflection | 2 Comments

Accusations :)

1. i have been accused. pity me. hehe

2. it is about my previous post on Mari Berubah. as i readily know that i will get an attention of certain readers ( finally my blog have a reader! hehe) by making the post.

3. and my blog has been posted on the wall of my friend's facebook. as this came from a friend so i took it as a criticism. where i should improve and do reflection on myself.

4. he asked for what the changed for as GM which under my beloved friend and brother, Wan Nuruddin had successfully organized few programmes that has been uttered by GM times to times as a HUGE programmes. huhu

5. i really appreaciate the works and programmes that been brought up by MPP Wan.. He is such a nice and good person. but in my opinion such programmes that organised by GM such as Bengkel Salat Untuk Pesakit, which i did attend the programmes, pengurusan kewangan and aku terima nikahnya is too far an easy programmes for PMUKM. it can be organised under certain club. and i am very curious why it didnt organised by our Surau KTDI or JAKSA or sumtin. it is more apropriate and i can say more suitable as PMUKM should see in broader view (in this case just specific only to certain religion and people) which not localized only to muslim and i can say that it only attracts the muslim but not the non muslim and produce better programmes which can involve all the people. but after all they did produce programmes which i dont.

6. if i am part of GM if la.. which i dont think i will.. i will organise and inter religion discussion. between christians and islams. i think that is most important. recently we heard that there are a lot of problems giving rise to inter religion tense. and by having this kind of programmes will put all the people be it islam, christian and budism on understanding each other. ingat. celebrate the diversity. and this will attracts all other people to have a listen on what actually Islam is and one of a way of dakwah. isnt it? kalau betol2 nak dakwah la.. tapi kalau politik semata tak payah la..

6. i always see things in broader view (self claim statement okay hehe) i dont do any programmes.. but instill the ideas of having inter- university programmes in my juniors trough programmes from other club. that is one of my manifesto after all. if PMUKM under me yet to produce programmes i should think twice as this will burden all my juniors. 2nd and 1st year as they have to join colleges KTSN programmes in order to collect merit to get a room in college. there are a LOT of programmes involving PERSIAP and AMSA.. more more programe will just create tense for them. ive been in pre clinical years before and undergone trauma on handling many programmes with a study burden which tracking me from time to time. and that made me feel that i dont want to create any programmes but instill the idea of my manifesto by programmes organised by other club.

7. but im very sure ASPIRASI team like Miezah, Azmeer, and Helmi did very good programmes but yet not all medical student could join as they are limited by their study burdens. it is not their fault after all.

8. okay i am sucks on politics actually. because i can see that politics need to sell ur goods to other people. i dont sell or tell other people what the good things i did. as it is forbidden for me. and that is why ive been accused to not making any contribution to my beloved voters. i just wanted to ask. who is the JAKSA head of KTSN now? isnt he from our medical faculty? and i can say there is no problem on penempatan di KTSN tahun ini. ramai yang boleh tinggal di kolej. im not sure how many percent. better ask him straight forward. but better during my time where only few of us qualified to stay in college.

9. as PMUKM i would like to make it clear that u have to work for the people and also for the faculty and college. as KTSN problems are settled by my fellow friends in KTSN, i tried very hard to settle problems in KTDI which i dont have to mention what. but it is really difficult. i will ask the next successor to help if ASPIRASI win. huhu. i also try to settle any problems related to the faculty and as in my previous post i mentioned that i only help them to bring any matters to the higher authority. but it seems that they could settled it with the help of our beloved TDA.

9. btw my friend also stated about the MoU. i agreed the most. very helpful as it helps to organised all the clubs and coordinate things together. but it is just a continues job held by PMUKM before which is very sure an ASPIRASI.

10. yet the point i want to bring here is people dont see what u did. they just know how to accuse. but as accusation from friends made it into a clear criticism. i thanks him/her very much.

11. lastly why we have to change???

kita nantikan
Gelombang Biru
minggu depan :) heheh over plak aku..

owh btw the news about UIA Aspirasi menang tu.. i took it from MStar.. u can check the link..bukan dengar2.. im sorry if i was wrong.. takyah la cakap aku tipu.. huduh sgat aih kalau aku menipu hehe..

take care every one selamat mengundi..

sedikit gula2 dari Shohib Arrumi..

SEORANG ahli hikmah berkata: Sifat orang yang mengenali Allah ada enam:
1.Jika ia ingat kepada Allah ia berbangga;
2.Jika ingat kepada dirinya, ia merendah diri;
3.Jika ia melihat ayat Allah (al-Quran) ia mengambil iktibar;
4.Jika ingin bermaksiat, ia menahan diri;
5.Jika ingat kemaafan Allah ia gembira dan
6.Jika ingat dosanya, ia terus memohon keampunan Allah.

Seorang ahli hikmah lain ketika ditanya: “Apakah tanda taubat diterima Allah?
Jawabnya, ada empat tanda iaitu:
1.Putus hubungan dengan kawan yang tidak baik (jahat) dan bersahabat dengan orang salih;
2.Menghentikan maksiat sebaliknya rajin melakukan perintah Allah;
3.Hilang rasa kesenangan dunia di hatinya, lalu selalu ingat kesusahan di akhirat

salam..

posted under campus, experience, isu semasa, politics, reflection | 5 Comments

The end of 2009

1. Alhamdulillah we are already in 2010 with a new spirit and new goal. Currently im in medical posting. Busy with teaching and all i can say that i also fell in love with this posting. a lot patient to be clerk, new symptoms to be discovered, new physical examination can be practice. as usual a lot to be read.

2. it is now the time where i have to get over with all my co curricular works. close the book that ive started to jot all the journey about the life beside of being a medical student since 2008/2009 session. n now i am nobody.

3. starting with PMUKM. i really had a very memorable experience with them. i admit that i didnt give enough cooperation in PMUKM much. as busy coping with studies. but during my involvement, meeting with them, i really feel that the friendship bond is easily created.

4. as im making invlvment with them, there are really dedicated on performing their duties. as PMUKM and also as MPP. they understand my condition. the opposition keep claiming that us being the voice ONLY for universities and 'balaci' of the universities is clearly not true. they speak on behalf of the students. i can observe them doing their job perfectly and some of them even sacrifice their year of studies just to help to improve their faculty and student. and as i expected, most of them also are religious people.

5. that is what i also wanted to do. long ago. but i failed. as i am not the one that blaming others for my failures. i want to put that as my limitation of me myself being a medical student. where i think my degree in medical faculty of UKM is more important.

6. i would like to give my appreciation to my colleagues in PMUKM Aspirasi as you guys are understanding, though we were not always being together, but i can feel our power on voicing the students problem. bring all the problems to the Vice Chancellor on behalf of me as im busy in the hospital is really appreciated. i love you guys. thank you.

7. i am really sure that people will ask. what did shamil do to our faculty? we didnt even see him coming to KTSN. hehe. as usual these issues will be brought out by my juniors as apparently an opposition.

8. i dont have my own committee. that is my problem at first but Alhamdulillah i also been elected for Vice President of AMSA. and i can say all the ideas and things i wanted to do as PMUKM i had poured it inside the club. because we have such a good committee members.

9. As the opposition trying to make their programmes with the help of our medical faculty student council, i try to put my ideas trough other organisation. and Alhamdulillah. positive.

10. Through the club i proposed that we should have the intervarsity programmes. we should have more programes involving other university as to get our exposure to outside increase. to make people know UKM. know about UKM medical faculty students are all capable of everything not only in studies. And inter-varsity games is successfully held. i am very proud of them the organisers. East Asian Medical Conference also will be held in HUKM and being handled by us UKM student. it is not easy to compete with other countries to be the one that organise EAMSC. Alhamdulillah UKM medical student from Malaysia managed to get chance to handle this event. Thanks to my senior for fighting for us.

11. This year AMSA also managed to have exchange programmes with medical student from oversea. this is also not so easy programe to be organised as it involve different curriculum for different universities. we have to contact them only and make arrangement trough email. i can say that all of these are for the students. but i bet they didn't see all this.

11. as im not really help much in the students welfare but i certainly do understand that PERSIAP has try to improve and help the students through their programmes a lot. it is just the students cooperation needed. which i can see that they only know how to condemn but not to support. sometimes i did feel sad for their President as some programes organised by them not really get much involvement from student. on behalf of welfare i just can bring the unsolve problem such as from JAKSA to the higher authorities as i dont want to interfere with their works as both of the societies have different objectives and mission but also covering the welfare of the students.

12. as usual, people didnt judge you from the ideas. they want we ourself be the director of the program and so that we can claim it is our program. it is not so true though. it is just a perspective of most of the students. in a broader view it is like Dr. M implementation of development to Malaysia. it is his idea that we talk of.

12. the only thing that i cant help is for the nursing student. therefore i would like to apologies for not helping you guys much. i try to make involvment of the nursing students in each of my programes as much as i can. but as PERSIAP and AMSA only covering the medical students i cant do much. PPK is another society that face a lot of problem in making programmes and all. but i also proud of them that they also held the first International Nursing Conference here in HUKM. i heard that it was successful. i am sorry as i was too busy to help. but i did ask them to come to my 4KL programmes last time. at least i try to make them involve with the others.

13. and today is the last meeting with AMSA board. we were discussing on how to elect our new committee member and spread out the form. i really enjoy being in AMSA. i am not sure that i still can be in AMSA or not after this as i have been proposed by other authorities to be part of them. What ever it is i want AMSA to continue all the programmes that were held during 2008/2009 session as annual programmes.

14. with this i also want to make an apologise to all that i cant satisfied of. sorry for everything. thanks for all your cooperation.

gula-gula dari youtube :)

posted under experience, memories, reflection | 0 Comments

Hikmah Kembara

Di sini kau berdiri
berpijak di bumi
menjunjung langit yang luas
Pernahkah kau berfikir
alam penuh rahsia
anugerah yang maha esa

Berjalan,bermusafirlah
melihat kebesaran tuhan
yang diciptakan untuk
mereka yang berfikir
dan bersyukur di atas nikmat
dan kurnianya
nilai harganya,iman dan taqwa
bagi hamba yang setia

Tiada beza warna,kulit atau rupa
yang ada hanya insan yang lemah
dengan satu tujuan mencari keredhaan
dan berbudi di bumi tuhan

Fikirkanlah..dimana arah kita
Renungilah..hikmah kembara
menuju kasih
buktikan cinta kita..
kepadanya..
ini kembara kita

Berjalan dan bermusafirlah
untuk melihat kebesarannya
lantas berfikir dan bersyukur
diatas nikmat dan kurnianya
nilai harganya iman dan taqwa
bagi hamba yag setia

posted under jalan-jalan, mumbling, reflection, vacation | 5 Comments

Post Hoc LSD

Salam..

The JKM

Alhamdulillah dah habis posting JKM.. da masuk hari isnin.. bila suma orang p kerja.. ak plak dok bilik dekat Kolej Tun Dr. Ismail ni melepak2.. bukan apa.. tenang fikiran mungkin. melakar strategi untuk posting seterusnya. Medical Posting. posting yang mencabar dan banyak bacaan. huuhhh..

Kini ak merindu tg. karang pulak. Jika o&g posting paling bermakna bagi ak, JKM ni ak rasa posting paling memberi pengajaran erti bersosial. penuh pengajaran. di sana jalan tak sesak, udara nyaman, tak banyak masalah, petang2 boleh main, mlm2 makan bersama. rindu ketika tgl di asrama dulu.

first time masuk ke rumah sewa dulu kami reramai pergi memberli belah di Billion tg.karang. ak rasa tempat beli belah kedua terbesar lepas TESCO. jangan memain tg. karang ada TESCO woo. kat billion beli belah makanan, barang2 rumah, sabun baru, cermin baru, sikat pon ada yg baru nak beli. haha. sungguh mengingatkan ku zaman silam.

di JKM ni kami makan bersama, bbq bersama, main bersama, kayak bersama, kalut siapkan report sama2, kalut masuk kampung kuar kampung sama2, rindu lah yang lain. lepas posting JKM ni ak dapat rasa hubungan erat dengan rakan2 posting. TAK KIRA CINA INDIA MELAYU. tu yang paling ak banggakan. Alhamdulillah takdak crita curi tulang besar2 mcm bdk2 posting sblm ni. curi tulang sikit2 tu biasa lah. namun ak nampak mereka semua faham tujuan ke tg.karang ni.

perjalanan posting kali ni pon tidak seperti bdk2 Posting JKM yang dulu, yg dengarnya banyak rileks. hehe kami rileks dan kami enjoy bersama. terharu.

itu tugasan tak formal. tugasan formal pula banyak juga. di sini kami perlu siapkan beberapa report. basically kami di bhagikan kepada 3 kumpulan. 1- general survey 2-specific survey 3-intervention program.

general survey ni geng yang akan conduct survey kesihatan yang telah diberi siap sedia soalan2 surveynya. dorang ni akan mengetuai dlm conduct survey kesihatan di kampung. time ni lah kena amek blood pressure, tinggi, berat ape semua tu. kemudian akan dipersembahkan dengan data statistic. dan laporan. banyak jugaklah kan nak kena siapkan tu sebab populasi beribu riban jugak.

kedua specific survey. owh ak ketua untuk geng specific survey ni. macam biasa tugas ketua bahagikan dan organise. alhamdulillah specific survey kami dipuji doctor. tajuk yang dibawa ialah H1N1. survey ni perlu disiapkan dengan satu proposal dan soalan2 survey. kemudian masuk kampung tanya dorang dan sediakan data statistic bersama report untuk dihantar kepada doctor.

dan ketiga ialah geng intervention. dorang ni akan baca statistic analisis kami dan membuat program untuk meningkatkan pengetahuan tentang h1n1. penat juga lah kena pegi balik dari rumah ke rumah untuk bagi pendedahan secara manual. e.g cara basuh tangan e.t.c

selain dari tu, kat JKM ni kitorang dikehendaki mengikuti fieldwork dari jabatan kesihatan daerah, kelinik desa, kelinik kesihatan dan hospital tg. karang. ni sempoi gak sebab berjalan2 merata2 di tg. karang. jika di jabatan kesihatan derah kami dibawa mengikut unit2 yang ada di bawah jabatan tu. unit vektor (yg tangkap nyamuk aedes tu, bukan aedes je byk gile lg penyakit bawaan vektor, yang ni ak dpat pegi foging, amek slide darah filariasis), unit penyakit berjangkit (ak pergi sekolah check org kene conjuctivitis outbreak), unit makanan (blaja cmana nak amek sample makanan) , unit bakas (unit kawalan alam sekitar dan saliran air, yeke camni, tapi gi masuk kampung tgk tandas2, saliran2 yang dibuat agar alam sekitar terjaga) unit kawalan mutu air ( pegi box tangki air amek sample air, dengan ujian2 tertentu, ph lah and macam2 lagi)

di kelinik dan hospital ak dpt jumpe nurse2 comel (itu je ko tau kan shamil?) hehe takdelah.. ak dpt belajar organisasi di situ. penting bila jadi Medical Officer nanti sebab semuanya akan diarahkan oleh ak sendiri. kalau ak taktau maka tak tau nak suruh nurse tu or check kerja nurse tu nanti. best2 :)

Selain dari tu report2 yang perlu kitorang siapkan :-

- Journal critique
- Laporan Pejabat Kesihatan Daerah
- SOCSO case study
- Reproductive hazard study
- Family case study
- Walktrough survey (survey hazard di tempat kerja, kaetan dengan occupational injury la lebey kurang)
- Diet practikum (belajar diet, nilai2 kalori dalam makanan, diet recall and etc.)

dan lain2.. yg minor2 lagi.. ape2 pon best lah posting ni. good friends, good foods, everything good lah.. ak naik 5 kg kat sini. wah seronok nye.. hehehehe

Guys

Raya Haji

raya haji hari tu ak balik kejap. cuti 4 hari kot. seronok pulak dapat balik penang sbb da lame tak balik. Alhamdulillah hari raya tu sempat gi semayang raya. siot terbangun lambat haha. dan selamat lah seekor kibas di korban kan. pergh kibas tak mcm comel lak kan haha. daging kibas ni satu dia tak berbau mcm daging kambing biasa. so sedap lah.

so lepas dpt daging korban skali ibu suruh ak organise bbq. wah da la baru lepas bbq party kat tg.karang, kat umah bbq lagi? ok on je kan. kibas bakar lak sape tak goyang jack haha. dan ak buat marinade seniri atas resipi mak ngah.. byk gak lah kibas ak marinade, skali ngan ayam. sedap juga ak rasa2 tu huhu.

malam nya ak jemput rakan2 sekolah permatang bertam. ramai juga hadir walaupon lambat. tapi alhamdulillah habis semua. huuu lepas dari bbq tu pulak bdk2 tu ajak kuar. hmm ak pon nak kena balik ke tg. karang dah esok nye tu. dorang bw g karaoke.

perggghhh memang lah ak slalu karaoke suare cam david archuletta kan? erghh skali tesangkut time lagu salim.. hahaha hancus terus suara ak.. tapi seronok lah dpt beramai2 nyanyi. malam tu asyraf (student architect upm) anas (petro, utp) naim ( multimedia, cosmo) apaq (engine) fawaz (electronic) azri (engine usm) putra (electrical) da cam nak pecah bilik tu kot..

ape2 pon ak beterima kasih gak la sbb time tu pon dok serabut kepala ngan report2 melambak. harap kita kan kekal bersahabat. selamanya :)

Jumpa lagi :)

posted under experience, inspiration, jalan-jalan, pictures, reflection, vacation | 1 Comments

Polycarbonate 2.13Ghz, 160GB

Salam..

And the day has come again.. where everyone will b judge based on their knwledge and competency in their certain learning process..

not many of us have a chance to study in this so called learning institution in malaysia.. some will get scholar and study oversea, some have to fly abroad to search fr education.. some have to pay thousands, some dont even have a chance to step into school and have a proper learning process.. like those yg tgl pendalaman who still learn frm their ancestors to survive in this little world.. to survive in their own envormnt and life.. but we the one that is very lucky to get a chance to tap the keyboard bloging, press on screen phone without digits and even watch movies on a big screen.. what a fortunate life.. some might say that this is our own hard work our parents hard work so that we can achieve all these beautiful journey of our life.. but the reality is? it is all from Him the Almighty.

malaysia recently has been noble to b the most preferred study destination.. wow everyone from outside now wanted to have education in malysia.. syabas.. and after about 50 years there are still malaysian that dint knw how to read and calculate.. again those who lived in out-circuit .. but i shall say there were improvement in our education system.. which after years holding the government.. hmm ade la juga kan? hehe

pe gua melalut nih..

so my final exam will b about in two weeks time.. the pressure is not there yet.. and raya is always will be a good friend to it..

ive been asked by these frequent questions before raya like i always had before such as.. baju raya da beli blom? baju raya warne apa? raya mana tahun ni? da shopin baju raya belom? and all i can say is i dont know.. i just dont feel what i felt before.. the eagerness to celebrate raya..

yeah i havnt had my shopin raya yet though the list is quite long.. luckily my mum have prepared my baju melayu.. gile manje kan.. haha so this year i will celebrate my raya in Greenwood Gombak, going back to the concrete village.. while everybody else get to see coconut tree at their hometown, the life of kampung, sawah bendang, pelita, nasi kandar and all.. i can see KLCC during raya and might be spending the last night before raya at Danau Kota..

hmm it has changed a lot, life, family, friends, me myself, and it is expected.. u want it or not.. it will come someday.. where u have to stand alone without anyone helping u with a totally different envirment, but God made human to be flexible and adaptation towards this new enviromnt will push u to go on and continue with life..

so with this several days left before raya i would like to seek forgiveness frm all of u guys if my writing might hurts anyone, if my words did insult any of u, im just saying what i think is right.. n i certainly know that we r all difernce, we might have various opinions.. after all, thats made our life colorful rite? huhu and have a bless Hari Raya aidilfitri.. might this a week or two of ramadhan be filled with good deeds and amalan sunnah..

and please pray fr my best in this exam.. this will be my first exam in clinical years.. i have to do good to gain more confidence in continuing this journey.. i dont have anything to ask frm u guys other than that..

Thank you

posted under exam, memories, reflection | 4 Comments

Masih jauh

Antara kita tiada rahsia
Susah dan senang tetap bersama
Terpatri namamu
Kau takkan kulupa

Sudah bertahun lama
Kita tidak lagi bersua
Hanya tinggal kenangan
Yang tak mungkin kita lupa

Kirimkan khabar selalu
Seiringan hembusan bayu
Sekadar pengubat rasa rindu dikalbu

Pantas masa berlalu
Meninggalkan kita semua
Tanpa disedari bertambahlah usia kita

Potret lama masih kusimpan
Kubingkaikan kenangan
Hingga terkadangku
Tersenyum sendirian

Oh perjalanan kita masih jauh
Jalanan berliku akan kita tempuh
Imbaslah kenangan semalam jadi azimat
Penguat semangat menempuh masa hadapan
Harapanku kau kan bahagia selalu

Padaku engkau penghibur duka
Pengubat hati resah kecewa
Dikala malamku kau bawa cahaya

Antara kita tiada rahsia
Susah dan senang tetap bersama
Terpatri namamu
Kau takkan kulupa

Perjalanan kita masih jauh
Jalanan berliku akan kita tempuh
Imbaslah kenangan semalam jadi azimat
Penguat semangat menempuh masa hadapan
Harapan ku kau kan bahagia selalu

Sematkanlah bingkisan rindu dikalbu

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lagu ni pernah ak mainkan dalam slideshow masa penutup minggu penghayatan islam kat skolah dulu

semua exco2 ajk2 yg terdiri dr kawan2 dinaik kan satu2 gambar mereka..

satu memori indah..

kini semua dah membawa diri masing2 ke jalan sendiri.. apa2 pon ak harapkan yg terbaik buat mereka..

hari ni ak terduduk bila perkataan 'fail' dihambur tepat depan muka aku,

salah cuma kecil beri efek amat besar, gara2 fundal hight.. ape bodoh nye salah kan

sedih la juga.. panas pon ada

dalam taklimat exam, shortcase katanya di masukkan dalam markah osce

final exam = theory 35 + continues asestment 30 + osce 35 (shortcase + ujian)

ada peluang lagi insyAllah

joshua ada cerita tentang sorang doctor ni.. graduan ukm.. master ukm.. katanya die penah fail o&g time medical school.. start dari tu die bedendam dengan o&g..

dan kini seorang consultant bhgn o&g.. dan takde sape da yg akan fail kan die lagi..

n im fuckin will not ever give upmerepek skejap.. patut mate koko kot.. okay la cumel jugak

posted under inspiration, lyrics, reflection | 2 Comments

Tag laila ~

Alangkah baik sekiranya anda menulis 25 perkara yang orang tak tahu semasa kecil anda. Dihujung entri, anda harus memilih 5 orang untuk ditag. Anda amat bertuah jika ditag oleh saya sebab saya ingin tahu lebih lanjut tentang zaman comel anda dahulu.

1. dulu tadika omputeh.. telok molek kindergarten.. pastu masuk taska kat pajak song.. time tu da start ada gf woo haha budak tu cumel je.. pastu ada hari persembahan tadika.. ak menari ngan dia.. menari pakai step lagi.. kecik2 tak tau apa lagi hehehe dulu ada kawan baek pakma robin, asyraf ngan helmi.. skang sume da tak tau g mane..

2. Time darjah 3 ak ada jual sticker yang aku buat sendiri.. ak ukir kat atas ketas sticker pastu ak jual.. byk gile untung dpt time tu.. tapi cikgu azmar macam marah ak jual.. so ak pon stop heheh kecik2 da blaja menjual

3. time abes skolah arab ak terus pegi belakang kampung.. panjat pokok pinang smpai ke pucuk then lepak kat atas layan angin tiup..kekiri kenanan.. pastu hujan ak turun balik..dulu slalu main caplong.. gasing.. guli..terbey (lastik) layang, tengteng la.. panjat pokok la paling masyuk.. penah skali jatuh sebab nak lompat dari dahan ke dahan pokok janggus.. nasib tak patah.. tak benafas 2 minit gak ak menahan sakit haha sume game ade musim die.. so maen ikut musim la..

4. dulu malam2 tidor dgn tok.. pastu nanti tok cite pasal pak pandir sblm tido.. pastu cite time die dulu2.. tentera jepun la.. :( sedih nye teringat balik..

5. malam pon kena study.. meja study kat depan ruang tamu so ayah ley tgk ak study.. dulu kena baca buku kecik bahasa ingeris ngan hafal sifir smpai dapat tak dapat kene tibai gile lah tapi adik ar slalu kene haha.. buku2 inggeris kecik tu plak ada tajuk2 puss in boots lah.. jack n bean stalk lah.. cinderella lah.. cite2 inggeris yg budak2 dulu.. pastu kene bace peter n jane.. haha

6. tokwan slalu cite pasal nabi petang2 smpai ak terus terer hehe.. dia dulu ulama.. salah sorang pengasas sekolah arab Daeratul Maarifatul Wataniah Kepala Batas.. cita2 ak dulu pon nak jadi ustaz gak la mcm tok wan.. tp masuk maktab mahmud je mcm ikut line lain.. tok dulu smpai menangis seronok ak dpt masuk maktab mahmud.. tapi parent ak cam tak tau pon skolah tu skolah ape...

haha kalau tgk tv dulu tok wan slalu ckp jgn jadi mcm dorang2 ni nanti masuk neraka ak time kecik2 pon takut laa.. smpai laa skang..

7. time skolah dulu ak agak nakal, masa darjah 2 penah gaduh dengan sorang budak ni name izat adam.. die slalu minta duit kat ak.. ak pe lagi panas ar.. betumbuk depan kelas.. pastu tak puas ak ckp nak jumpa geng lwn geng kat padang skolah.. kitorang pon pegi la ramai2 betumbuk kat padang skolah pulak.. balik2 tu tgk2 rupanya izat adam tu sedara mara aku juga.. merepek betol.. kat skolah slalu gak pukul budak pompuan.. nabilah penah kena pukul haha pastu ak wat dunno.. cikgu azmar tanya ak tak jwb.. senyap jerk.. haha

8. suke wat keje merepek mmg dari kecik.. ak tuka tayar basikal satu besar satu kecik bukan ape just nak merasa naek moto besar.. hehehe ..pastu pernah gak bunuh anak ayam ngan pecahkan telur die tgk anak ayam baru nak idup.. pastu kantoi ngan jiran sebelah.. ak tak mengaku gak aku buat.. tapi ayah mmg tau laa

9. tulis FUCK kat pokok kelapa hahaha ini paling sengal.. ak ada jumpa tin cat ni.. then abang sedara ak ajar ak mencarut.. cakap fuck.. ak pon ngan sempoi nye tulis fuck kat pokok kelapa jiran ak.. pastu kantoi.. time raya kena marah gile lah.. terus takde mood raye time tuu

10. kokurikulum dulu penah jadi pengerusi pbsm.. blaja ikat2 anduh.. rajin gak p pustakaan.. bace buku penyiasat enyd blyton.. lawan gak ngan member sape bace paling banyak.. tapi takde la byk sgt ak bace..

11. time darjah 5 kawan ngan nik adli, azfar ngan sape ntah sorang lagi.. time tu time minat wrestling.. sume org ada nama samaran wrestler.. ak dorang pangel 'The Rock' dengan ayat 'do you ssssmmmmmmmmellllll what the rock! is cookin' hahahha

12. time free2 kat kelas slalu lawan chess ngan cikgu azmar... menang cikgu blanja minum air.. member terer time tu alip, acip terer gak maen chess kadang2 maen batu selambut, congkak ngan dorang, kad tepuk, lawan pemadam, tapi digimon ngan pokemon ar paling hardcore fever.. mmg sume training gile nye sblm maen haha

13. pernah main bola wakil skolah.. susah cari boot sbb kecik n comel sgt eheh pastu cikgu yang ajar bola tu cikgu aziz.. garang gile die ajar, die ajar subjek tanam2 pokok tu.. subjek ape ntah da tak igt..tapi ak pernah skali kena denda kena pakai apron terbalik pastu cabut pokok kat luar haha

14. ada study group ngan laila, nabila, fatin, hafizi kot.. alamk lupe lah.. tapi kawan smpai sekarang sume bejaye2.. petang2 buat latihan sblm upsr.. tapi nyembang je byk.. tp memori dan enjoy lah smpai pmr ngan spm pon kadang kami jmp study skali kan?

15. ak slalu tulis diary dlm bahasa inggeris.. mrs tan la yang suruh tules diary kalau nak terer english.. cikgu english ak yang terbaik prnah ak dpt.. smpai form3 ak tules diary dlm english.. ada la juga improve..skang da tules blog hehe

16. Sslalu ak mengaji quran kat rumah tok ngah.. kadang2 kalau tak pegi, mlm2 baca ngan tok or ibu.. kalau tak reti baca nanti ak akan menangis gile2 sbb tak reti.. geram tol kalau tak dpt bace lancar..

17. kat skolah dulu ada hutan mak minah.. ada rumah buruk blakang skolah.. takut woo nak pegi belakang tu buang sampah.. mesti kena ajak teman pegi buang sampah kat belakang tu.. eee

18. dulu sape jawab byk betol ujian math cikgu azmar dapat meja dok depan.. ak pon slalu ye cik laila dok depan hehe so slalu la meja tuka.. tiap kali tuka org, ak kacau org laen pulak yang duduk tepi ak hehe

19. pernah masuk pertandingan fesyen darjah brapa tak igt.. ak sendiri cadang kat ayah nak pakai baju macam farmer.. punya la p cari baju oshcosh bgosh.. haha smpai ke penang.. tapi tak menang.. sedih gile

20. time skolah arab petang2 ak slalu jd tekong nasyid.. nyanyi lagu brothers teman sejati ar selalu.. time tu suara sedap lagi.. ustaz rasyid ngan ustaz solehudin la yang ajar dulu.. slalu kena cubit perut sbb lari2 dlm kelas..

21. rambut ak dulu lurus gile dan belah tengah... jeles ngan adli sebab rambut dia lagi lawa dari ak.. tapi lagi jeles ngan remoih cikgu azman sbb rambut die mmg akan kekal dari awal smpai die balik keje.. smpai skarang pon ada lagi remoih die.. hehe

22. ak mule kenal ternet time skolah rendah lagi.. da mula maen coding2 mirc n buat laman web.. pastu kena tolong ibu tulis thesis untuk master die.. terus terer tekan keybord takyah tgk keybord pon laju je tules.. (hidung kembang (ak tak reti pon buat idung kembang)hehe)

23. dulu masuk tae kwon do.. terer gak laa p tournament ape.. tp kena berenti sebab balik je training slalu pukul adk.. haish

24. ayah slalu smbut besday ak sblm masuk asrama.. then bile masuk asrama da takde da.. dulu slalu p victoria station la sbb ak slalu mengidam spageti.. gile demand.. pastu dapat adiah.. huh mmg mak ayah kita byk berkorban untuk kita.. kadang2 kita ni je tak perasan dan masih lagi leka.. insaf

25. kat skolah ak pengawas time skolah rendah penolong ketua murid.. dapat 5a.. dapat masuk sekolah sains syed putra tapi tolak sebab nak masuk maktab mahmud ngan aiman n shaukhi... guru besar ngan member2 ramai tak setuju..tp ak rasa decision ini paling bermakna bg ak..

itu kot yang teringat wat mase posting yang sibuk ni..

till then

live life to the fullest :)

posted under experience, memories, mumbling, reflection | 2 Comments