Showing posts with label mumbling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mumbling. Show all posts

Back home

Just got back home. Heavy rain outside with thunder storm. I hv to wait for half an hour before i could get into my car.

Syukur...Now i have improved in my department.. Presenting cases was getting better and easy... Managing simple intestinal obstruction given me some confidence.

Just now my specialist was asking me didnt i finish my housemanship aredy? I laugh and said, no la boss this is just my first month.

I still missing my previous medical dept... There they gave lots of opportunities. Its true they said u will feel like real doctor in medical dept. U dont need to feel afraid to start ur own treatment. If u wrong u learn from it.

I met a guy that was a specialist graduated from UKM. He made me the posting leader. Once before i performed a pleural aspiration in front of him. Since that time i dont knw why he kept referring me as a surgeon. He put a trust on me that ill become a surgeon one day.

He is good. A good teacher not only teached but inspires.

Im on my way of taking MRCS... It is an expensive papers that is just a qualification. But i feel by having this qualification it will help me on doing surgery in future. Applying masters, hopefully a bit easier. With a year of full of house officer, there will b also a time a lot of medical officer.. I have to grab this opportunity to push myself among others and get into master programme.

Today i finished half of my day seeing BPH patient ( benign prostate hyperplasia ) and i sit with my new MO friend... She helped me a lot.. And im happy with it. Tomorrow is another clinic day also... Will be seeing patient in hospital sungai bakap and hospital bukit mertajam... And the next day will be my oncall day. Hopefullt everything goes well.

I also read an article about successful people dont wait to start anything. They just do. They took the risk and hit it like a boss. Hehe yes i have this feeling of worried, what if surgery is not fit for me.. Or me not fit with surgery... Whatever it is i will just go through it.

I need to also complete a research about colon ca... Bit tiring... Last time in HUKM if we helped a lecturer conducting studies.. We will b paid..m but now... We dont have that big grant to do the research... We need to do it just it is our passion to see wether our treatment is improving or not... But whatever it is i like the concept of it.. From data we interpret it and improving our management from it.

The last week of O&G posting :)


Alhamdulillah, currently ending my o&g posting, in the last weeks of the posting, lots of new experience, new mistakes, new knowledge, new anger to overcome, confidence and all, but its not enough if i only prepared the practical parts only, have to put my knowledge ahead too..

but i prefer peads more :)

its just 6 months before my final professional exam, and starting next week my friends from other faculty 4 years courses will be graduating. its a convo day fever again. only God knows how i really wanted to wear the red robe and graduate next year. hopefully everything will go smooth and fine.


(curi-curi tangkap je ni)

i hope it is not too late to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya maaf zahir dan batin, Alhamdulillah i had a good raya this year, with family, teachers, friends from Maahad Mahmud, that is enough for me. Kubur tok je tak sempat pegi lagi di Melaka, nanti lah bile2 free week ends.

p/s - gambar diatas sekali tu gambar lame. rambut sekarang panjang sikit with spectacles.bye




Tebabomm

owh i went back to penang for 3 days last week during the deepavali public holidays, some of my mates get holidays started from wednesday until monday thefollowing week. but im in ophtal posting where we have very limited time to go to clinics and have teaching session so i still have to follow the clinics to fill up my log book untill thursday... and i dont have holidays on monday. no prob for that.so on thursday evening i went back to penang.. wah it was quite a long journey. ayah cudnt fetch me at the airport... so i have to take bus to go to the jetty, thanks to Rapid penang, from there i took a ferry to get to the butterworth (the mainland) so ayah waited me there and we went home together.


i didnt actually enjoy my holidays so much because i have to finish up my case write up, an assignment given by my doctor aka lecturer.. i really do not have chemistry on these case write up as i dont really like preparing it haha so most of the time ill be in front of laptop figuring out my case.. not so much on televisyen
or chating with ayah or ibu, hopefully they understand..
on saturday morning, ibu gave me some coupons for the canteen
day of my primary school. Sekolah Kebangsaan Permatang Bertam. i went there with shahnaz my youngest sister. it has been what? 10 years since i left the school.. i missed my primary school days as bad as i missed Maktab Mahmud. SKPB was just a kampung school, but i can say that most of us from that school get really good education.I still remember going to school with my blue shirt and black shoes and ties ( as i was a prefect back then) waiting for Pakcik van, Makcik Ina to go to school.. then waiting at the back of my school fences to stop those student that were late to school.. i cant imagine how did i look like that time haha mesti comel gile haha

my parent never let me riding bicycle to go to school. so they were
asking people to send and take me back home. at times i were really get irritated because all of my friend can go to school with bicycle while i cant. its not fair. hehe but actually i should be really thankful to my parents for treating me well. anak kesayangan? tak kot.. tak tak..

so i went to the canteen day.. surprisingly.. most of the teachers
still remembering me! i almost drop my tears away (yeay wateve) i say hi and chat a bit with them because they were busy with the students on selling things during the event.. i met cikgu rohani, ust. saadiah, cikgu shuhairi (really happy to see me) cikgu zarina, teacher zaini, pak cik saidon ( orang jaga koperasi pon kenal ) .. just bring back my old memories on them.. how naughty i was at school those days..

i walked around the school compound, a lot of changes has been made, i went back to my old classroom.. where i still remember, i have to stand up on the chair because i havent finish my english assignment.. love mrs Tan so much :(
At the new built open hall.. dulu it was just a tarred area where we will have our perhimpunan, and every weeks i will be rotating to do the announcement and asked student to make lines according their classes and sing lagu negaraku, lagu pulau pinang and lagu sekolah as i was one of the pengawas that time i was holding penolong ketua murid post huhu

On the way to rumah hantu.. why i havent have this during my time? i dont know.. bringing shahnaz to rumah hantu.. hehe really nice..btw that is my class during standard 6..trust me i have been on that bumbung jalan2 on the roof climbing down from that fences.. have to walk on the nail on that roof because it is the only place that attach to metal.. if not.. kedebamm la jawabnyaa and sometimes i throw peoples pencils on the roof and take it back again.. gile buas.. tapi happy kot that time haha skarang cam kotor ada botol2 takde org buangkan..
this is at he back of the school where we learn about kemahiran hidup.. i still remember ive been punished to wear like a ninja turtle (with an apron) and cabut rumput at the square area there by Cikgu Aziz.. siot betol haha because i was chatting with my friend i think.. haha


An exhibition by the dentist.. not so many student were there, but it was a nice exhibition, should be doing some games to attract more student to go there..
so on sunday i went back by firefly from penang airport to subang airport for an hour journey, this is my first time going back by firefly.. it is a small plane with only one entrance and exit door into the airplane.. quite nice, get served with cookies and drinks too.. but a bit expensive then airasia, the ticket can be as low as airasia if early booking is made..

some of the helis and small airplane that i wish to have in futures.. insyAllah.. hopefully will come true..

okay have to prepare for tomorrow clinics.. take care everyone.. have a good day :)

salam

Edifier


Salam..


Apa khabar semua? Alhamdulillah sudah di minggu keempat posting Paediatric skarang ni.. posting kali ni sebenar nya agak sibuk.. banyak yang perlu di baca dan revise kembali sebab paeds ni macam medicine juga lah.. cuma nya budak2 punya sakit tak same dengan orang tua kan.. so have to learn new approach to the some of the diseases..


So hows my peads posting?? Alhamdulillah aku sangat suka posting ni.. masih lagi semangat ke ward dan berjumpa kanak2 dan adik2 yang kurang bernasib baik.. buku log aku masih belum berisi, minggu ke 6 dah kena hantar case write up.. masa terlalu pantas berlalu.. agak pelik bila melihat status rakan2 yang mana ingin kan hujung minggu datang dengan cepat walhal aku rasa tidak cukup masa untuk melaksanakan semua tugasan.. haish ke aku yang malas sangat?? haha


So kanak2? apa yang penting sangat mereka ini? sbelum mula merepek nak ingatkan diri sendiri yang sesungguhnya Islam itu satu cara hidup bukan sekadar nama dalam i.c .. seriusly aku seorang yang amat menyukai kanak2.. dari mengasuh, mendidik, bermain, mengurus kehidupan mereka.. amat amat amat suka... setiap kanak2 itu aku dapat lihat cahaya di wajah mereka.. cahaya yang aku rasa jika dijaga dengan baik akan terus bercahaya dengan lebih terang dan terus menyinari kehidupan ini. walaupun kadang2 budak tu takde la suka kat aku, itu normal, namun jika dicuba dan terus mencuba.. boleh la dapat main dengan dorang hehe..


Bila kita menjalani kehidupan seharian, Rasul lah ikutan kita, dari segi akhlak dan tingkah laku. bukan trend atau populariti bagi sesuatu masa. dan sunnah itu tidak terhad pada amalan zikir serta solat namun sehingga ke dalam tandas sudah Rasul ajar cara untuk buang air besar ke kecik ke.. complete kan Islam? cuma kadang2 kita kurang sedar dan peka.. Begitu juga kasih sayang Rasul dengan kanak2..


Hadis rasul dengan kanak2


No. 5610 Narrated Abu Huraira: Rasullullah kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Rasullullah cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully." Sahih Bukhari.


Kanak2 ini adalah generasi yang akan menganti kan kita.. yang merupakan tunas baru dalam agama kita.. aku masih ingat, tika Tok dan Tok Wan mengajar aku solat, membaca quran, cerita sirah nabawi, belum pon bertadika ketika itu, dan bila masuk sekolah, Alhamdulillah segala akhlak serta ajaran Tok amat berguna.. dari kecil di ajar takutkan siksaan neraka.. bila besar sudah tahu kita mana baik mana tidak nya... Rindu dengan tok..


And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wive

s and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (25 :74)


Bila di ward paediatric.. seriously aku lihat setiap hari adalah PERTARUNGAN. pertarungan dengan takdir yang Allah taala kurniakan.. dan ada yang lihat itu adalah satu dugaan, ada juga yang lihat satu bala.. itu terserah pada yang menerima namun setiap kita punyai kepercayaan yang berbeza. Pertarungan macam mana?


bila mana ibu dan ayah tidak pulang dan menjaga anak mereka yang mempunyai cerebral palsy (google lah nak tau penyakit ape)...

anak mereka yang tidak cukup bulan,

anak mereka yang mempunyai masalah mental yang mana kakak nya baru meninggal di usia 12 tahun..

anak yang mempunyai masalah pendengaran..

anak2 yang perlu menjalani pembedahan billiary atresia..

menjaga anak2 yang tidak henti nangis kerana sakit selepas pembedahan masih lagi belum baik...

bila satu keluarga yang tidak begitu berpendapatan terbang dari Serawak ke Hospital Kuala Lumpur membawa anak mereka yang mempunyai masalah respiratory... malah banyak lagi..


namun aku dapat lihat kesabaran mereka amat tinggi.. yang kadang2 aku rasa jika aku ditempat mereka pasti aku juga terduduk. Ya Allah sungguh hebat dugaan mereka.. dugaan aku ini apa ada?? Maafkan aku ya Allah..


Dan ada sebahagian dari kawan2 aku yang cakap ‘rasa bagaikan tidak mahu anak’ kerana melihat semua ini. Agak kecewa dengan ayat itu. Sesungguhnya zuriat itu rezeki yang tak ternilai.. tidak kira lah mereka itu normal atau tidak.. ya kita susah di dunia.. namun yakin lah semua dari Allah dan kesabaran dalam menghadapi hidup dengan anak begini akan mendapat balasan yang tak tercapai oleh akal untuk memikirnya di akhirat kelak... Dan kita perlulah menjaga islam kita dan terus berdoa agar di kurniakan anak2 menjadi penyejuk mata dan bertakwa.


Cukup.


Graduation day ib dan iyas next week.. seriuosly aku taktau nak bagi apa hadiah. bukan banyak sgt duet.. tapi nak bagi haha.. takpelah tengok lah macam mana.. but i need to attend several of my friends graduation too.. aiman ngan zaid pon minggu depan juga.. harith pon dah grad.. dari notthingham uni...wah.. cepat betul masa berlalu.. ya Allah berikanlah kejayaan kepada mereka dan berikanlah kekuatan untuk aku untuk berjaya seperti mereka...minggu ni sume da sibuk nak tempah graduation robe dekat bangi.. huhu dan mintak2 minggu depan tak sibuk sangat.. it will be one of a great moment in their life.. and im just happy for them, eventhough i just can see them from far and my time is not there yet..will be just happy ..


Fuh emo lak.. haha


So ramadhan is just around the corner.. need a lot of preparation.. speaker dah ada ahah and need to survey which mosque nak pergi solat terawikh.. :)


thats all for now


selamat beramal semua


(peringatan pada diri sendiri juga - kan ni blog aku apsal nak kena ada line ni? haha)


Clash of the two


I just confuse. a bit. the meaning of being yourself. i asked once to one of my ustaz during classes 5 years ago. ustaz, what if i didnt do whatever i did (good deeds) at school when i get home? am i being a hypocryte? did god allowed me to be like that? i just didnt feel the islamic environment if i went home. so i am blaming the environment instead of me myself being good. the ustaz answered that it is okay behaving like that because i am still in the process of training, learning on being a good person. yet he said that environment is important to create a consistent practice of islam. biah solehah.
sometimes when you want to be good the first step is trying to be good. try is the keyword there. and the interpretation of trying in order to get better is in other words is to pretend being a better person. does pretending being someone is not good? why cant we just be our self?

pretending is a thing that not all of us like. sort of hypocrite. i think pretending should be included into stages on becoming good. why? im not sure. before being a good person they will go certain stages (based on my observation). and these stages are differ from the background of education they get.
i asked a friend of mine from uia. they learn about dakwah and even take a paper on it. im sure they learn the methods of dakwah. before applying those methods dont you think that it is important to know the state of a person that were going to call for dakwah?

not all are like us. some of us have a very good basics of islam. some of us just learn during primary or secondary school. some of us just listen what is taught by our parents. some of us know islam from friends, usrah, books, google etc. and this is different from their educational background. people that learn from their parents (grandparents) so called informal education plus a formal education (learning in religious institution) since childhood about islam may have different understanding of islam. so difference level of background may also contribute on the understanding of the religion. this differences may need different kind of approach definitely.

but i also observed that not all that have proper islamic education turns out to be a good person. mereka lebih arif tentang agama namun kadang2 tidak bersuara. lebih teruk pon ada.

tetapi ada juga yang tidak mendapat pendedahan agama seawal mungkin ini lebih baik orang nya. yang belajar dan mula bergetar tubuh nya dengan islam di sekolah menengah, universiti. mereka ini aku lihat lebih agresif. tidak begitu arif namun praktis nya cukup baik.

and because of that i believe on hidayah from Him.
Bila menyebut perkataan lebih baik (a good person) what actually the meaning of being good? i shall say that there are two views on being good. first, being good in the perspective of us as human and another one is on the perspective of God. and of cos lah perspective tuhan tu yang that we have to look for. and that is also depends on the person educational background too.

being good is also cultured inside of us since we were young. basically those who have a great akhlak may be a good person. and here where the 'inner parts' come.

whatever it is and what level of education we are in right now is not the matter anymore as we can learn it slowly and starts to practicing the way that promoted by our Rasul and the Quran. For those who just started, just be consistent and keep on learning. and those who are called dai'e have to understand the field of dakwah before proceed and called the good deeds by understanding our targets background of education and practices.

bebelan merepek. nite.. NICU will ended soon and will be going to HKL starting next week.
i miss my school days..

p/s: ib dah jadi doctor. doctor gigi yg budak2 takut nak pegi tu haha. congratulations and good luck bro in life. n i have to work hard.. like really hard. damn korang sume da grad.

Orange and Red and Black



Alhamdulillah

Setelah beberapa drama dapat di tonton.. ak da masuk 4th year.. Paper reseat aritu agak kaw juga soalan dia dan ramai dari batch ak sangkut... syukur sangat2 ak lepas dan dapat masuk 4th year..

Sory ak tutup kejap blog.. proses renovation.. cantek da sket kali ni.. kat atas2 ni ada link2 ak tak edit lagi.. baca2 lah eh eheh

so cerita hari ambek result agak dramatik.. seperti yang da ak tulis sebelum ni, paper ak hari tu ari Isnin dan Selasa last...

Isnin tu paper pagi 2 bahagian dan petang satu bahagian untuk O&G.. paper berat buat semua dalam satu hari.. huh gile penat hari tu.. tapi tak boleh rileks lagi sebab Selasa esok nye ada satu lagi paper Medicine (short case)..

Dan satu kejadian tak diingini terjadi time paper o&g.. time pagi.. kan ada 2 bahagian, satu bahagian tu paper objektif.. paper objektif tu pulak ada 2
bahagian.A dan B. tiap2 bahagian ada 15 soalan.so ada 30 soalan semuanya..

so ak dpt peringatan awal yg kata paper ak tu semua 30 minit.. dan bila semua orang jawab paper tu.. ak pon selak satu persatu.. dengan serius nye ak bace.. setiap bahagian die tulis kat kertas tu diperuntukan masa 30 minit...so bahagian A dan B semuanya 1 jam.. ini IKUT KERTAS TU TULIS..

sekali lepas 30 minit loceng berbunyi! ak macam ' Aphal loceng bunyi awal sangat?' sebelum tu pulak takde la lecturer ckp mcm alert ' lagi 10 minit untuk masa tamat' tibe2 je masa abes... damn!!!!!

then ak teringat balik yg tadi die cakap masa jawab hanya 3o minit!!! ak ada half lagi soalan tak jawab!!! gile babeng... syukur sebab bahagian A ak habis dalam 20 minit.. lagi sepuluh minit ak jawab dalam 5/6 soalan kat bahagian B. so ak ada 10 soalan lagi tak sempat baca dan jawab!!!!

gile kan?? ak time tu da gelabah biawak dah..ak maen tanda je dulu 10 soalan tu.. dan time org bangun utk submit paper.. baru ak bace soalan dan padam and tick jwpn yg betol..dengan kelajuan F1.. tapi tak sempat.. dalam 3,4 soalan tetibe ada lecturer bunyi.. 'Hey! what are u doing?? are u changing the answers??'' owh amat lah siot time tu.. ak stop dan ak pangel die.. then ak explain...

'Dr.. actually i was wrong about the time given just now, u said it was 30 minutes quests.. but in here it stated 1hour paper?? and no correction made??' then ak explain semua.. tapi dia macam tak puas ati lagi.. dia pangel sorang lagi dr. dan Alhamdulillah dr. tu except explanation ak.. gile ape ak bw court ley menang kot.. kat kertas tulis 1 jam.. takde pembetulan lak tu.. mmg lahanat juga laa.. tp ak sedar yg ak pon takley wat pape.. terus je la submit paper dengan soalan dalam 8soalan yg tak tau soalan dia apa dan jawapan dia ak belasah.. huh~
ak geram sebab ak tak dpt jawab soalan tu.. study da kaw dah sekali tak ley jwb.. memang amat menyirap..

dan seterusnya ak jawab esei question selepas 15minit rehat.. budak2 da ushar ak pelik dah.. apehal shamil tu kuar lambat kena marah ngan doctor lak..
haha ak maintain je sbb next paper ada lagi n i have to score this fckin esei paper supaya dapat cover paper tadi.. dan Alhamdulillah esey okay for me.. tapi ak masih tak confident ak ley pass.. sbb in medic every marks count.. rendah 1.0 pon ley fail.. takdak kasi can punya..

then petang tu ak jwb paper OSCE o&g and okay juga.. and lastly esok nye Selase paper medicine..

lepas je paper medicine ak terus tepiki paper o&g ak tu.. seriusly ak amat amat amat risau dan dah siap prepare utk ape yg akan terjadi.. bilik pon ak tak pindah lagi in case la ape2 jadi.. mmg siot lah.. then terus ak balik penang..

kat umah ak story lah kat parent.. mcm biasa ayah dah buat muka mcm nak kena slamdunk haha ibu cam ckp okay nye ley dia rasa ak boleh lepas.. ak pulak!??? hummm senyap je.. ak layan cuti yg tak seberapa sebab Jumaat tu da kuar result.. ak tak contact sesape.. sori Naim tak contact hang.. seriusly dlm keadaan merbahaya haha..

then Jumaat tu satu family nak balik kl pulak.. so sampai kl dlm sebelum Jumaat, penat dorang suruh ak drive dari penang ke kl.. huh sampai je ak mcm nak balik cheras.. tapi solat jumaat n lunch ngan parent dulu kat restoran Minang ni.. ak makan da sikit da ha gile risau result.. then ak balik cheras..

on the way g cheras then ak dpt call dari Temoh ' Congratz ko lepas' ak macam... errrrr... Alhamdulillah!!! hahah time tu jem pulak jalan.. ak da lompat2 dlm kelisa and terus call parent ak.. then hafiz msg.. ak lepas.. syukur sangat2.. happy gile kot.. haha then ak tanye yang lain mcm mana.. hafiz reply lambat.. then ak call.. and i received bad news for few of my friends.. dalam zikir Alhamdulillah ak.. ak senyap kejap.. n tetibe sedih.. sebab 2,3 rakan rapat ak time reseat aritu tak lepas.. sedih kot.. ak pon taktau nak ckp ape ngan mereka.. ak mmg harap mereka tabah..segala percaturan Allah tu ada habuan dia.. yakin! mmg susah nak hadapi.. ntah lah.. tapi ak serius tak syok sgt la pastu.. happy campur sedih. 22 orang dari batch ak kena repeat tahun.. mmg ak semangat batch sket so mmg lah lagi sedih..

tapi sebenarnya time ak down dulu tu ak da pikir da.. if ak reseat.. makna nya ak akan belajar lagi medicine o&g surgery yg merupakan posting penting masa final year nanti.. yg aku amek balik 3 minggu ni pon da bnyk bagi ak pengajaran.. ini kan buat balik setahun lagi.. ak rasa amat bermanfaat.. mmg la taknak kan.. tapi for future ak rase so much worth it.. harap sahabat2 ak faham..

tu lah detik2 ak dapat result hari tu.. amat bersyukur.. mmg setiap hari before dpt result ak mmg ada aje tag line yang macam suruh ak bersabar... mcm aritu ak balik je dari paper o&g.. time ak masih lagi teringat2 tentang soalan2 ak tak jawab tu.. ak terdengar ayat quran tentang tawakal.. 'dan serahkanlah segalanya pada Allah, sesungguhnya Allah lah tempat kamu bertawakal'..bacaan Misyari dari ipod ak.. tetibe je kot! ak cam.. ok takpe study medicne..

bila bukak facebook pulak ada lagi tag line pasal tawakal..
dan bila ak bukak blog abg shah.. pon tulis pasal tawakal.. katakan dia quote dari abg zaim ' tawakal pada Allah bukan tawakal pada usaha' pergh terasa kot.. terus ak cool.. dan rilek je.. tak tertekan sgt... tapi ak manusia biasa yang mmg lemah.. kadang2 tu down juga tapi ingat balik...buat ak lebih bersabar..

Alhamdulillah.. sekarang da 3 minggu dalam 4th year.. ak start ngan posting Orthopedic.. pasal tulang2 patah2 tecabut tulang semua belajar dalam posting ni.. jadi group leader lagi.. ak sorang je lak tu laki.. malu pon ada gak tapi kena perform la kan utk menjaga nama baik lelaki ni hahaha

dan ak da masuk bilik baru.. bilik ni tingkat 2 aje.. syukur bilik ni sejuk je kalau time panas terik tengahari pon.. seronok jugak lah syukur Alhamdulillah..

terima kasih rakan2 yang mendoakan.. akan terus ku berusaha insyAllah hingga ke akhir garisan penamat.. doa hampa semua mmg pendokong usaha ak untuk berjaya.. terima kasih..

Nanti ak cerita posting2 time 4th year ni pulak kay.. sibuk jugak lah sebenarnya dan semester ni pon ak tak amek jawatan dah.. ak amek pengarah PAC tu aje.. yang lain tak nak amek tau dah.. ak nak enjoy 4th year ak dan hidup sebagai medical student dan kuatkan segalanya untuk final year nanti.. pergh gile semangat haha 2 3 minggu je ni.. :) hehe



owh program ni 18 dan 20 June.. doakan segala berjalan lancar.. to all always b happy as it will attract good things ' law of attraction'
Take care
Salam

owh n syukur juga ayah bagi laptop baru Alhamdulillah..
dan ak rase nak kaetkan gak ngan law of attraction.. sebab ape tau? sebab i never came across to have a macbook now, cause i think i will have it when i grad nanti or somewhere in future.. but i always wanted to have it, like since 2nd year, i took a brochure about macbook and i paste it on my study desk.. everyday i see it and wish (doa) i can have it.. Alhamdulillah.. Allah makbul kan.. syukur..

The doctors MD,UKM and MBBS,UM

KETIKA kerajaan sedang meningkatkan usaha memujuk doktor warga Malaysia di luar negara kembali bekerja di hospital tempatan melalui pelbagai insentif, ramai graduan fakulti perubatan Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) dan Universiti Malaya (UM) melarikan diri untuk bekerja di Singapura sejurus lulus peperiksaan akhir tahun mereka.

Perkara ini terjadi sejak lima tahun lalu selepas Majlis Perubatan Singapura mengiktiraf ijazah perubatan dari kedua-dua universiti itu.

Tahun ini, jumlah graduan perubatan yang berhasrat bekerja di Singapura semakin ramai. Doktor muda berkenaan meminta kerja di hospital Singapura sejurus mendapat sijil sementara mereka daripada dekan dan serta-merta ditawar kerja sebagai doktor pelatih di hospital negara itu.

Majlis Perubatan Singapura tidak memerlukan ijazah asli yang hanya diberi universiti ketika konvokesyen kerana kebanyakan hospital di sana kekurangan doktor.

Seramai 20 daripada 209 pelajar fakulti perubatan UKM yang lulus peperiksaan akhir baru-baru ini pada 26 Mac lalu menerima tawaran sebagai doktor pelatih dan kini sedang bersedia meninggalkan negara ini.

Ramai lagi graduan dari fakulti perubatan UM sedang mencari rezeki di Singapura. Dijangkakan 80 graduan akan meninggalkan negara ini untuk bekerja di hospital Singapura.

Sebahagian besar daripada mereka tidak akan pulang bekerja di Malaysia. Kebanyakan doktor muda berkenaan menerima biasiswa kerajaan sepanjang lima tahun pengajian perubatan.

Kosmo berape aribulan ntah.

====================================================================

and this was replied by one of a doctor from Malaysia..


I read an interesting article today about a few prominent figures addressing their concern over the increasing UKM and UM medical graduates who have left the country to continue their medical practice overseas.

After reading the news for 3 times, I called a very close friend, an MD (UKM) graduate to ask his opinion on how the news might have affected him. He has been working in Singapore for more than a decade as a Consultant Surgeon with a certain sub-specialty

"Why be a slave in your own country, when you are a king in another?" He replied.

Indeed, if anybody would want to find a reason why all of us left, either after housemanship, after being a specialist, or even after sub specializing, and now, even prior to doing housemanship, they need not look at our payslip, or the wealth that we have gained overseas, but only to the Medical System that has been rotting in the ignorance and politic-based stupidity that Malaysia has been well-known for (in the medical field).

I have served the system for nearly 2 decades of my career, waiting for it to improve for so long, and only finding myself in despair, quitting with a 24-hour notice and serving abroad. The system is, in my opinion, keeping doctors, since the beginning of their career as House Officers to the end of it, in the lowermost priority. When I was working there, doctors are so ill-treated, while the nurses and the medical assistants are overpowering us.

I still remember the days when I was doing seeing patients and rounds as an MO, while the staff nurses would mind their own business, having breakfast in the pantry, or having gossip chats at their own leisure. My House Officers would then have to do merely all the labour-work, up to the extent of setting intravenous drips, and serving medications. If I am to expect the nurses, my patients would have been dead, or the work would have been too slowly or incompletely done.

When I was a House Officer, I had to run down 4-5 floors just to review a blood investigation of a dying dengue patient. The ward staff would either be nowhere around, or will say that he is busy (busier than the doctor?) or the answer I got at that time:

"Doktor nak cepat, doktor turun sendirilah, gaji doktor lagi banyak dari saya"

Even when I was a Specialist, the staff nurses had to be called again and again just to make sure the management plan for the patient would be done. I was already used to answers from them:

“I’m busy with something else"

“My shift is already over"

...it was routine for me.

The Medical Assistants were worse. They would hide behind their so-called boss, the Head of Medical Assistant. They feel hiding behind him would make them not under our jurisdiction, that we have no power to instruct them in managing the patient, that they have power to manage own their own. I've seen them giving medications not as we prescribed, performing procedures without our knowledge, as if they are the actual "Doctors". They are in their own world, and we have to do their job, taking blood, labelling samples, and even cleaning gadgets from the procedures that we have done.

Oh, but the ministry loves this group. They even let them run a clinic now, instead of upgrading the clinics already run by doctors. The government feels that the MAs are very important and should never be ill-treated by those big bad doctors. One time when I was a District Hospital Medical Officer, I was conducting a delivery of a baby. An MA insisted that I remove my car which was block-parking his car. I answered through the phone that I was busy.

He came to the labor room and yelled "Semua orang pun sibuk jugak, macamlah doktor seorang yang sibuk!”

It is insulting that an MA or a staff nurse claims that they are BUSY, as busy as a doctor? As a Malaysian Doctor, I have even worked for 72 hours straight. I have experienced working until my 6 month old daughter did not recognize me at the end of the week.

Is that how busy they are? I am very sure that they are so busy, that they can only spend 2 hours at the nearby Mamak stall, or can only leave at 5:10 PM instead of 5, or can only have 1 hour of lunch.

The management staffs are worse. I have to beg and plead so that I can get my on-call claims, of RM25 per 48 hours of work. While sitting in an air-conditioned office, they will at their own leisure, process my call claims so that I will receive them by the next decade.

The state health or Hospital Director would just give another inspirational talk (of bollocks) on team effort and beauty of teamwork.

That is how Malaysian doctors are treated in the government sector: without respect, without dignity and without significance. Why?

It is because we are bound by ethics to try our best to save lives, despite how ill-treated we are. We hardly have time to complaint because we are too busy or tired, and we would rather spend the precious time resting or seeing our loved ones. The burden of trying to save lives is on our shoulders alone. No MAs or Staff nurses would shoulder it with us. They have their own bosses: the Sisters, Matrons, or Head of MAs, which job description is to ensure that the big bad doctors will not ask their underlings to do extra work.

This is how the Malaysian Ministry of Health have treated their doctors. I am very sure that in each and every doctor, there is a slowly-burning patience in serving the Malaysian people, which will eventually fade and cause them to surrender to serving a place that treats them better.

A few colleagues who graduated from UK choose to serve there:

"The pay is more, and we get the respect we deserve"

Another works in Brunei:

“Here the staff nurses respect Malaysian doctors, and they are very co-operative" (He ended up marrying one)

A few are consultants in Singapore (working with me):

"Here we are treated well, we spearhead the management, and every else do their work to the best of their capabilities".

A few even enjoys working in Indonesia:

“The work-load is horrible since there are a lot of patients, but we are well respected by every hospital personnel" (They have migrated there for nearly a decade)

I am sure that people will see doctors as power-hungry individuals who want to be the boss in the hospital. Trust me, after having graduated 6-7 years of medical school, earning a DEGREE, and subsequently MASTERS, and SUBSPECIALITY, you would expect a degree of respect and being considered important. We are trying our best to improve patient's quality of life, or making sure he lives another day. Is it too much to ask from the system that we are important?

I find that Malaysia is the only country that is making doctors' lives miserable and treated like rubbish. It was never about the pay in the first place. It is about the treatment we are getting and the false political-based promises. Do you know that the so-called circular about doctors can have the day off after working 24 hours straight released JULY 2009 is not yet implemented? Do you know that the raise of UD 41 to 44 does not involve every doctor in the government service?

We are waiting for improvement. We have waited a long time when we were working in the system. Somewhere along the line we decided to leave and wait outside the system. Until the system changes, we will continue to work overseas, in countries which are appreciative of us. Trust me, Malaysian-graduate doctors are considered highly skilful and competent in neighbouring countries, and the 15 % brain drain is more significant than you think.

We will return when the system prioritize us and gives us the quality of life we deserve.

If it stays the same, Malaysian Hospitals would end up having Staff nurses and Medical Assistants as "Doctors", and we would have to send patients to Indonesia for an appendicectomy.

Hear our voice. We hardly speak, but will usually fade away from conflict (and fly to another place).


Cool converstions on hijab :)

"I'm so tired"

"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me."

"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she
tells me to wear hijab."

"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab. haha!"

"Maybe she was just giving you advice."

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't
she mind her own business?"

"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being
nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be
nice..."

"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."

"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what
do you mean 'good'?"

"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to
do."

"Says who?"

"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"

"Yes. She did quote me something."

"She said Surah an-Nur, and other places of the
Qur'an."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people
and praying is more important."

"True. But big things start with small things."

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not
important. What's important is to have a good
healthy heart."

"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said."

"Then why do you spend an hour every morning
fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention
all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-
carb dieting."

"So?"

"So, your appearance IS important."

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing
in religion."

"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it

mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in Qur'an."

"You mean God tells you something to do, you
disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes. God is forgiving."

"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not
repeat their mistakes."

"Says who?" <>"Says the same book that tells
you to cover."

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."

"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other
cosmetics set you free?! What's your definition of
freedom anyway?"

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."

"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in
doing whatever we wish to do."

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear
hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear
hijab and are bad people."

"So what? There are people who are nice to you
but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics?
You made a stupid point."

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK
the way I am without hijab."

"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in
disobeying God."

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry
me?!"

"So all these people with hijab never get
married?!"

"Okay! Wha t if I get married and my husband
doesn't l i ke it? And wants me to remove it?"

"What if your husband wants you to go out with
him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."

"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"

"A company that respects people for who they
are."

"Not after 9-11"

"Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan
who just got into med school? And the other one,
what was her name, the girl who always wore a
white hijab.ummm."

"Yasmeen?"

"Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is
now interning for GE."

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth
anyway?"

"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals
and lipstick colours?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth.
It is
obeying God in a difficult environment. It is
courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But
your short sleeves, tight pants."

"That's called 'fashion', you live in a cave or
something? First of all, hijab was founded by men
who wanted to control women."

"Really? I did not know men could control women
by hijab."

"Yes. That's what it is."

"What about the women who fight their husbands
to wear hijab? And women in France who are
forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you
say about that?"

"Well, that's different."

"What difference? The woman who asked you to
wear hijab. she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but."

"But fashions that are designed and promoted by
male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men
have no control on exposing women and using
them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying."

"Saying what? You think that men control women
by hijab?"

"Yes."

"Specifically how?"

"By te lling women how and what to wear,
dummy!"

"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what
t o wear, and how to be 'attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion."

"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what
they want you to wear?"

Silence

"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the
market."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic
like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by
men who design those magazines and sell those
products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with
products."

"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see?
Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who
spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by
standards of fashion designed by men.and then
here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and
focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not
worry what men think of your looks."

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a
product?"

"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from
male-dominated consumer ism ."

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It
is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for
this societ y ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too
young to wear hijab!"

"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him
on Judgment Day."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Silence

"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab
niqab schmijab Punjab !"

Silence.

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with
herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the
voices in her head, with her own opinions
triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final
modern decision accepted by the society,
rejected by the Faith:

Yes to curls or blowed dried hair, no to hijab

*http://islamintel.blogspot.com/2010/01/cool-conversation-on-hijab.html

Sorry aiman tak dpt p makan satey.. tetibe muncul ayah aku dari pulau pinang di kolej aku.. terpakse la kan hehe nanti la kay p skali lagi..

salam

posted under , | 0 Comments

I am legend.

My name is Shamil Suhaimi. I am a survivor living in Kolej Tun Dr. Ismail. I am broadcasting on all AM frequencies. I will be at the South Street Seaport everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide food, I can provide shelter, I can provide security. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone.

Salam..

Apa khabar semua? hehe just want to update u guys with my recent news..

i havent go back home yet since after the exam untill the result came out. Alhamdulillah i passd one paper and i failed another one paper. how sad. yups really dissapointed with my achievement. it seems like there is no improvement in me. i faild the medical posting. malu ja hang ni.

so i have to repeat back my posting for obstetric and gyneacology posting and the internal medicine posting. they gv me another 3 weeks for medical and another 3 weeks of o&g posting to revise back all the subjects. and one simultaneous exam will be held at the end of the 6th weeks. Alhamdulillah it is just 2 postings, if 3 then i have to repeat the whole year again. pergh gile. but these 2 papers are enough to make me mad fr another 6 weeks and i am just like ' telur di hujung tanduk' right now cause i cant afford fail these 2 papers again or else ill have to repeat the whole 3rd year one more time. Nauzubillah.

then i went back home for like 3 days. and enjoy the breezes of penang. mmg layan lah. layan hamediyah ape sikit. as usual ayah will ask all sort of questions about the exams, the results, the repeaters like he wanted to calculate the probability that i can pass the exam. i dont know lawyers like to count too hehe frankly speaking im a bit down but not so much because im holding on Him so tightly. i know whatever happens there will always a reason behind it. so i took it positively. being not so down but more on reflecting myself for what ive done this past few month and trying to analyse back my weakness put me to a clear vision on passing these two papers.

yups failure is not an option for some of us and it is also inevitable. what we can do is to try the best. as hard. as smart. as hard. and as hard as we can so that failure is not part of us. i think ive not trying as hard as i can be. maybe.

after all God is where u should hold on to. in what ever condition ur in. in sad, in happy, in wealthy, in poverty, up, down, whatever LAH org malaysia cakap tu.. n never stop asking from Him fr the best of u. because He certainly knows evrything on you.. ur ego ur stubborn..ur sins. like everything.

at times, u listen and get what He wanted u to listen. i dont know, i just felt it. like when listening on to the radio. or watching tv. or reading other peoples facebook status or reading the quran. that nothing to do with u. but when u read their lines or listen to what they said or open the translation. it will came across to a line where it is like fitted accordingly to you. seperti Dia mahu menegur kamu. yups that is definitely what i felt.

Mungkin ini erti sabar. jadi biarlah senyuman mengukir dibibir :)
I hope i will get through all these with success.i really need to get into 4th year.ya Allah tolong lah. permudahkan lah. and do pray for my best too dear friends. thank you.

"Praise be to Allah, who hath guided us to this (felicity): never could we have found guidance, had it not been for the guidance of Allah. indeed it was the truth, that the apostles of our Lord brought unto us." Al-A'raf:43

p/s : placebo perform gile gempak nak mampos.. drummer terbaek.lagu non-stop. byk lagu ley singalong. puas hati lah senang citer.

10th floor

Salam..

Alhamdulillah.. exam dah abes.. ntah la ok ke tak.. aku masih lagi risau.. dah kata tawakal risau ape lagi kan? hehe sedar la sikit diri tu sape.. sbb tu la rase risau lagi walaupun tawakal..

Medicines OBA paper was quite tough.. KFQ and OSCE were rather on moderate level. all i can say is that, in medicine anything, ANYTHING can happen. sometimes u think u can do the paper well but that is the paper that ull fail.. sucks rite.. humm ak da sikit2 nak adapt dah ngan environment ni hehe
So cuti nak buat ape sebenar nye? ntah pon tak tau.. rehat. ak nak rehat. nak duduk tak bergerak. senyap je. mcm panda. style gak kot.

baru2 ni ak rase mcm ak ni agak pelik. ak suka kan variasi, tapi kadang2 ak stick pada sesuatu benda tu mcm tak nak ubah2. contoh banyak jugak la.. mcm kalau minum teh o ais. ak order teh o ais je tiap2 kali minum ke makan kat luar ke nasib kfc takde teh o ais, kalau tak situ pon ak order teh o ais. kat madam kwann pon ak order teh o ais.
kalau ngan hidir dulu ak ingat lagi, sebelum kayuh perahu, pekena Kopi Larat.. haha ada bran?

kalau mkn berger tu, berger tu la ak order dari dulu smpai sekarang. nak order berger laen mcm malas pon ade, rase mcm berger yg ak order tu sedap lagi pon ade. takpe la.. janji kenyang kan.

kalau pakai seluar pulak. seluar tu je la ak nak pakai, kalau nak pegi beli seluar baru, ibu ke ayah ke sape2 nak belanje, seluar yg same juga aku pilih nanti. pelik lah. baju mcm takde la sgt. tapi kalau itam putih, itam putih je la baju ak.

bentuk jam pon same, kalau boleh nak jam tu aje.. dua tiga pon takpe, boleh tuka2 hari pakai jam laen2 haha..

hari tu tgk cerita dekat bilik Pulut (one of my batchmate) cerita THE FOURTH KIND.. die mcm cerita alien2 la lebey kurang.. kena culik ngan makhluk asing.. die nye trigger.. semua org mcm ada hallucination pasal burung hantu yg bertenggek kat tingkap bilik dorang. tapi sebenarnye menda tu bukan burung hantu, tapi mcm alien nye jelmaan la konon. ak rasa tu jin lah.. mcm ada sorang laki ni nampak burung hantu, orang perempuan satu lagi pon nampak burung hantu yg sama..

tapi ada kaitan ke habit ak ni dengan mcm cerita the fourth kind ni?

macam takde je..

takut gak..

takde lah aku rase..
ak rase ak just loyal je kat sesuatu menda tu.. or seseorang tu.. (gile ayat player) haha

dah lah..hehe

sebenar nak ilangkan risau ni.. gila kau susah dowh soalan OBA medicine.. ape mende la dorang tanye susah2 geram ak.. JKM pon ley tahan putak belit jugak!! aish.. takpelah.
result kuar 10th March ni or 9th March.. aku pon da confuse mane satu.. :( doa la weh.. ak taknak refer paper dah.. penat dowh

yang mane tengah cuti tu jage diri.. yg dok strugle belajar tu belajar betol2.. jgn dok maen je.. nanti exam susah baru padan muke hehe

salam

p/s - ak mmg rase anwar tak liwat saiful.

posted under , | 2 Comments

+Safety first+

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Lagu lama tetibe tingat nak dengar balik.. emo gile lagu ahaha currently using Winamp again selepas lama sedih dengan pencapaian winamp yg agak lembap..

Long case with prof oteh yg bz tak tau lagi bila dia nak buat test... argh tensio
n2

exam in 3 weeks time.. in preparation mode.. doa lah ye aku pass sume exam2 ni.. nak naek taun 4 huhu

selamat berjaga diri ya sahabat2 diluar sana..
n for those who will also have a short case, long case, mid semester exam, or any test involving ur academic perfrmnce.. good luck.. do the best..

:) salam

Hikmah Kembara


Di sini kau berdiri
berpijak di bumi
menjunjung langit yang luas
Pernahkah kau berfikir
alam penuh rahsia
anugerah yang maha esa

Berjalan,bermusafirlah
melihat kebesaran tuhan
yang diciptakan untuk
mereka yang berfikir
dan bersyukur di atas nikmat
dan kurnianya
nilai harganya,iman dan taqwa
bagi hamba yang setia

Tiada beza warna,kulit atau rupa
yang ada hanya insan yang lemah
dengan satu tujuan mencari keredhaan
dan berbudi di bumi tuhan

Fikirkanlah..dimana arah kita
Renungilah..hikmah kembara
menuju kasih
buktikan cinta kita..
kepadanya..
ini kembara kita

Berjalan dan bermusafirlah
untuk melihat kebesarannya
lantas berfikir dan bersyukur
diatas nikmat dan kurnianya
nilai harganya iman dan taqwa
bagi hamba yag setia



Among the stars

Salam..

Alhamdulillah semua dah berakhir,exam semester 1, posting surgery n o&g, cuti semester, result, bagai kitar hidup dlm dunia realiti ini, yang bermula pasti berakhir. bukan 'bagai' tapi satu kenyataan. yang mekar pasti layu, yg cantek bersih pasti kerepot kering, yang bernafas pasti terhenti. yang bermula pasti berakhir.

kini ak mula kan langkah baru dalam posting JKM. posting yg ak minat juga lah. Jabatan Kesihatan Masyarakat @ public health. dalam posting ini ak akan belajar mengenai disease dan juga manusia bukan dari konteks penyakit itu sahaja namun dalam menghentikan penyebaran penyakit kepada masyarakat dan manusia lain. hari ini adalah hari pertama. hari2 mendatang mungkin penuh cabaran. ramai yg labelkan ini posting yg menyeronokkan. macam satu percutian. ak pula tidak mahu ambil mudah dalam posting ni. doctor yg byk inspired ak ada dalam posting ni n i have to do the best supaya tidak mengecewakan dia.

minggu pertama posting ni di isi dengan syarahan2 dari pagi hingga petang. minggu depan kami akan di hantar ke kampung2. di sana perlu di adakan research dan juga pelbagai kempen kesihatan. menarik. ak terfikir mungkin personaliti ak yg suka bergaul dan berkawan ini menyebabkan ak tertarik dengan posting kali ini. posting yg melibatkan interaksi secara langsung dengan org ramai. orang kampung. orang awam.

bila sebut pasal guru feveret ni tersentuh ak dengan satu panggilan yg ak rasa sangat mulia. guru. di sekolah dulu pengajian di tingkatan satu adalah sebuah kitab yg berjudul 'taalim mutaalim toriq taalim' satu kitab nipis yg membincangkan tajuk yg sgt penting dalam menuntut ilmu. mengenai guru dan pelajar. di tingkatan satu kami di ajar mengenai adab dengan guru secara amat detail. bagaimana taraf nya guru, berkat nya belajar dan berguru.

ak amat terkesan dengan pembelajaran ini. sehingga kini jika ak ingin berbicara dengan seorang guru ak akan berdebar. ak percaya yg doa seorang guru amat mustajab. ak takut jika ak terbuat mereka marah dan terdetik di hati mereka perkara yg tidak baik pada ak. rasanya ak kini lebih berani nak tegur guru2 ku. jika dulu bertentang mata pon takut. tidak kira lah dia guru apa. namun guru yg memberi ak ilmu cukup ak sanjungi. ak bawa taraf mereka ini sedikit rendah dari ibu bapa ku sendiri. ak sayang mereka seperti ak sayang ibu bapa ku. jika berkata2 pasti suara ku sgt rendah. takut sgt tertinggi suara. seperti ak hormati ibu bapa ku. paling takut jika dimarahi. menyebabkan ak lebih suka berdiam diri bila berhadapan dengan mereka.

tapi kini segalanya laen. di lecture hall, di kelas2 tutorial student rilek je melunjur kaki kepada guru. bercakap dengan guru bagai kan kawan. bukan tak setuju tapi ntah.. hmmm buat diri ak juga yg kadang2 lupa.. jagalah adab dgn guru moga mendapat berkat dalam belajar :)

and yes.. i really appreciate for those who make teaching as their profession... and i have this strange jealous feeling to them.. pelik.. hehe i really enjoy teaching others.. when our friend tryin to search the way to get an answer and we are there to help them.. waahh like a doctor that can solve their patients probs..sort of relieve.. a relieve to help others..

though i have a mission to be a specialist.. why not a specialist and a lecturer?.. indah rasanya .. hehe and i have to complete my degree first.. it is a long way to go.. doa kan lah yee

sorry have to go now.. nanti sambung merepek..

Ramadhan 2009

Hari ni first ramadhan..

Hari Sabtu 22 august 2009...

Makna nya hari ni da start puasa...

dan start bukak puasa time maghrib..

hari ni indah, hujan turun, sejuk tak macam biasa,

orang kata bila malam lailatul qadar tu, esok nya hari akan teduh, sejuk,

sebab sayap2 malaikat berkibar2 dan semua naik kelangit balik,

tapi lailatul qadar, katanya 10 terakhir ramadhan, tiada siapa tahu

hari ini tenang, kosong, tiada masalah, study selesa, cuma malam ni lah on call,

hari ni juga tetibe rase sunyi, sepi, takde org kat kolej, sbb ak tak kuar bilik kot

tapi mmg ramai balik rumah a.k.a kampung, berbuka bersama keluarga mungkin, tapi kampung ak jauh pulak, nak balik yg dekat pon takdak keta,

family pon di penang sana, takdak family la kot kan

tapi kalau ak balik pon malam ni on call, cmane je kan

takpelah ak rasa hidup ini mmg patut begini, tak sekarang mungkin satu hari nanti,

tapi japgi shauqi nak datang amek pegi umah mak lang, berbuka di sana,

hmm ok la tu kot family juga, minta2 husna ada, tapi mesti rushing sebab mlm ni on call,

haiyoh..

hidup ni penuh dilemma kan

ini rasanya mematang kan kita, membuat kita lebih hebat dan berani dalam membuat keputusan

owh ya.. matang bukan hanya fikir akan bilangan anak masa depan nanti ya.. hehe

bila ramadhan menjelma ni, satu bulan mulia, selalunya ak bersedia,

tapi ntah dari smalam tak tido smpai satu hari, buat keputusan tido selepas isya`

case write up last minute nye pasal,

tapi lepas isya` first tarawikh bulan ramadhan dan ak tak tidor lagi dari smlam,

baring2 je lah kat tilam.. bangun da pukul 10 pagi hari ni,

starting tak brapa cantek ak kira ramadhan kali ni.

takpa ada masa lagi.. quran ada 30 juz, ramadhan ada 30 malam, lailatul qadar ada satu malam,

pandai2 la bahagi masa.


Selamat berpuasa semua, hidupkan sunnah, amalan sunat, solat malam, bersedekah, bacaan quran, di bulan ramadhan ni..

Shauqi da smpai..

Salam.. doa ak cemerlang ye..

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Tag laila ~


Alangkah baik sekiranya anda menulis 25 perkara yang orang tak tahu semasa kecil anda. Dihujung entri, anda harus memilih 5 orang untuk ditag. Anda amat bertuah jika ditag oleh saya sebab saya ingin tahu lebih lanjut tentang zaman comel anda dahulu.

1. dulu tadika omputeh.. telok molek kindergarten.. pastu masuk taska kat pajak song.. time tu da start ada gf woo haha budak tu cumel je.. pastu ada hari persembahan tadika.. ak menari ngan dia.. menari pakai step lagi.. kecik2 tak tau apa lagi hehehe dulu ada kawan baek pakma robin, asyraf ngan helmi.. skang sume da tak tau g mane..

2. Time darjah 3 ak ada jual sticker yang aku buat sendiri.. ak ukir kat atas ketas sticker pastu ak jual.. byk gile untung dpt time tu.. tapi cikgu azmar macam marah ak jual.. so ak pon stop heheh kecik2 da blaja menjual

3. time abes skolah arab ak terus pegi belakang kampung.. panjat pokok pinang smpai ke pucuk then lepak kat atas layan angin tiup..kekiri kenanan.. pastu hujan ak turun balik..dulu slalu main caplong.. gasing.. guli..terbey (lastik) layang, tengteng la.. panjat pokok la paling masyuk.. penah skali jatuh sebab nak lompat dari dahan ke dahan pokok janggus.. nasib tak patah.. tak benafas 2 minit gak ak menahan sakit haha sume game ade musim die.. so maen ikut musim la..

4. dulu malam2 tidor dgn tok.. pastu nanti tok cite pasal pak pandir sblm tido.. pastu cite time die dulu2.. tentera jepun la.. :( sedih nye teringat balik..

5. malam pon kena study.. meja study kat depan ruang tamu so ayah ley tgk ak study.. dulu kena baca buku kecik bahasa ingeris ngan hafal sifir smpai dapat tak dapat kene tibai gile lah tapi adik ar slalu kene haha.. buku2 inggeris kecik tu plak ada tajuk2 puss in boots lah.. jack n bean stalk lah.. cinderella lah.. cite2 inggeris yg budak2 dulu.. pastu kene bace peter n jane.. haha

6. tokwan slalu cite pasal nabi petang2 smpai ak terus terer hehe.. dia dulu ulama.. salah sorang pengasas sekolah arab Daeratul Maarifatul Wataniah Kepala Batas.. cita2 ak dulu pon nak jadi ustaz gak la mcm tok wan.. tp masuk maktab mahmud je mcm ikut line lain.. tok dulu smpai menangis seronok ak dpt masuk maktab mahmud.. tapi parent ak cam tak tau pon skolah tu skolah ape...

haha kalau tgk tv dulu tok wan slalu ckp jgn jadi mcm dorang2 ni nanti masuk neraka ak time kecik2 pon takut laa.. smpai laa skang..

7. time skolah dulu ak agak nakal, masa darjah 2 penah gaduh dengan sorang budak ni name izat adam.. die slalu minta duit kat ak.. ak pe lagi panas ar.. betumbuk depan kelas.. pastu tak puas ak ckp nak jumpa geng lwn geng kat padang skolah.. kitorang pon pegi la ramai2 betumbuk kat padang skolah pulak.. balik2 tu tgk2 rupanya izat adam tu sedara mara aku juga.. merepek betol.. kat skolah slalu gak pukul budak pompuan.. nabilah penah kena pukul haha pastu ak wat dunno.. cikgu azmar tanya ak tak jwb.. senyap jerk.. haha

8. suke wat keje merepek mmg dari kecik.. ak tuka tayar basikal satu besar satu kecik bukan ape just nak merasa naek moto besar.. hehehe ..pastu pernah gak bunuh anak ayam ngan pecahkan telur die tgk anak ayam baru nak idup.. pastu kantoi ngan jiran sebelah.. ak tak mengaku gak aku buat.. tapi ayah mmg tau laa

9. tulis FUCK kat pokok kelapa hahaha ini paling sengal.. ak ada jumpa tin cat ni.. then abang sedara ak ajar ak mencarut.. cakap fuck.. ak pon ngan sempoi nye tulis fuck kat pokok kelapa jiran ak.. pastu kantoi.. time raya kena marah gile lah.. terus takde mood raye time tuu

10. kokurikulum dulu penah jadi pengerusi pbsm.. blaja ikat2 anduh.. rajin gak p pustakaan.. bace buku penyiasat enyd blyton.. lawan gak ngan member sape bace paling banyak.. tapi takde la byk sgt ak bace..

11. time darjah 5 kawan ngan nik adli, azfar ngan sape ntah sorang lagi.. time tu time minat wrestling.. sume org ada nama samaran wrestler.. ak dorang pangel 'The Rock' dengan ayat 'do you ssssmmmmmmmmellllll what the rock! is cookin' hahahha

12. time free2 kat kelas slalu lawan chess ngan cikgu azmar... menang cikgu blanja minum air.. member terer time tu alip, acip terer gak maen chess kadang2 maen batu selambut, congkak ngan dorang, kad tepuk, lawan pemadam, tapi digimon ngan pokemon ar paling hardcore fever.. mmg sume training gile nye sblm maen haha

13. pernah main bola wakil skolah.. susah cari boot sbb kecik n comel sgt eheh pastu cikgu yang ajar bola tu cikgu aziz.. garang gile die ajar, die ajar subjek tanam2 pokok tu.. subjek ape ntah da tak igt..tapi ak pernah skali kena denda kena pakai apron terbalik pastu cabut pokok kat luar haha

14. ada study group ngan laila, nabila, fatin, hafizi kot.. alamk lupe lah.. tapi kawan smpai sekarang sume bejaye2.. petang2 buat latihan sblm upsr.. tapi nyembang je byk.. tp memori dan enjoy lah smpai pmr ngan spm pon kadang kami jmp study skali kan?

15. ak slalu tulis diary dlm bahasa inggeris.. mrs tan la yang suruh tules diary kalau nak terer english.. cikgu english ak yang terbaik prnah ak dpt.. smpai form3 ak tules diary dlm english.. ada la juga improve..skang da tules blog hehe

16. Sslalu ak mengaji quran kat rumah tok ngah.. kadang2 kalau tak pegi, mlm2 baca ngan tok or ibu.. kalau tak reti baca nanti ak akan menangis gile2 sbb tak reti.. geram tol kalau tak dpt bace lancar..

17. kat skolah dulu ada hutan mak minah.. ada rumah buruk blakang skolah.. takut woo nak pegi belakang tu buang sampah.. mesti kena ajak teman pegi buang sampah kat belakang tu.. eee

18. dulu sape jawab byk betol ujian math cikgu azmar dapat meja dok depan.. ak pon slalu ye cik laila dok depan hehe so slalu la meja tuka.. tiap kali tuka org, ak kacau org laen pulak yang duduk tepi ak hehe

19. pernah masuk pertandingan fesyen darjah brapa tak igt.. ak sendiri cadang kat ayah nak pakai baju macam farmer.. punya la p cari baju oshcosh bgosh.. haha smpai ke penang.. tapi tak menang.. sedih gile

20. time skolah arab petang2 ak slalu jd tekong nasyid.. nyanyi lagu brothers teman sejati ar selalu.. time tu suara sedap lagi.. ustaz rasyid ngan ustaz solehudin la yang ajar dulu.. slalu kena cubit perut sbb lari2 dlm kelas..

21. rambut ak dulu lurus gile dan belah tengah... jeles ngan adli sebab rambut dia lagi lawa dari ak.. tapi lagi jeles ngan remoih cikgu azman sbb rambut die mmg akan kekal dari awal smpai die balik keje.. smpai skarang pon ada lagi remoih die.. hehe

22. ak mule kenal ternet time skolah rendah lagi.. da mula maen coding2 mirc n buat laman web.. pastu kena tolong ibu tulis thesis untuk master die.. terus terer tekan keybord takyah tgk keybord pon laju je tules.. (hidung kembang (ak tak reti pon buat idung kembang)hehe)

23. dulu masuk tae kwon do.. terer gak laa p tournament ape.. tp kena berenti sebab balik je training slalu pukul adk.. haish

24. ayah slalu smbut besday ak sblm masuk asrama.. then bile masuk asrama da takde da.. dulu slalu p victoria station la sbb ak slalu mengidam spageti.. gile demand.. pastu dapat adiah.. huh mmg mak ayah kita byk berkorban untuk kita.. kadang2 kita ni je tak perasan dan masih lagi leka.. insaf

25. kat skolah ak pengawas time skolah rendah penolong ketua murid.. dapat 5a.. dapat masuk sekolah sains syed putra tapi tolak sebab nak masuk maktab mahmud ngan aiman n shaukhi... guru besar ngan member2 ramai tak setuju..tp ak rasa decision ini paling bermakna bg ak..

itu kot yang teringat wat mase posting yang sibuk ni..


till then

live life to the fullest :)

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